The Journey Home
by SMDSP
Summary: Kenshin has decided enough is enough. He can't keep putting his friends in danger--especially Kaoru, who he has come to love deeply. His solution: to leave. But when Kenshin returns to the friends he left behind, he finds things have changed.
1. Saying Good-bye...

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The Journey Home

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Saying Good-Bye.

Chapter One

"I'm leaving." Those simple words said in the early afternoon outside the dojo walls left the residents in a shocked silence. All knew with those words their way of life was going to change--and not for the better.

"Going?" Yahiko finally asked breaking the deafening silence. "Going where?"

Kenshin lifted soft violet eyes to Yahiko; he could see the hurt in his eyes and the questions on this face. Ones he really didn't want to and couldn't answer.

"I don't know," he whispered. "All I know is its time for me to continue on my journey."

Incensed Sanosuke found his voice and burst out, "Continue on your journey. What kind of bullshit is this?" 

"Sano...I...It's just something I have to do," Kenshin finished lamely.

"That's fucking bullshit and you know it!" Sanosuke took a step forward wanting to beat some sense into Kenshin, but just clenched his fist back to his side muttering angrily to himself.

Kenshin watched as Sano turned his back on him. "Sano I'm not trying to make you angry, but I have my reasons for continuing my journey."

"Yeah, right" he scoffed sarcastically. 

"Sano sumano de gozaru. I didn't mean to make you angry it's just...I didn't want to leave without saying good-bye."

Sano snorted. And kept his back still turned.

"So how long do you plan to be away," interjected Yahiko.

Kenshin shifted his gaze from the 'Aku' that was printed on Sanosuke's back downward to Yahiko's serious brown face. "I don't know long I will be gone. Or where I will be headed," he answered still remembering the young boy's previous question. He leaned over and placed a hand upon his shoulder. "I hope I will get to see you again when you're finally a man."

Yahiko jerked his shoulder from underneath Kenshin's hand upon hearing the last statement. "So, you plan to be away that long. Then why in hell should you come back?"

Kenshin sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he didn't expect to encounter such hatred. Maybe Kenshin thought I should have gone with my original plan to leave a note. He sighed again, and then tried a smile. "I have invested time in you. And I hope to see the man you become."

"You hope? What shit is this? If you stay your ass here, you would see me become a man. Instead of 'hoping'."

"Yahiko, I have to go. Because, I don't know where I'll be going; or how long I will be. That's why I said hope."

"Or if you're coming back," said Megumi adding her voice to the foray. Pushing her straight black hair back from her face, she met blue eyes to violet eyes. "You might never come back isn't that right, Kenshin. That's why you really said hope, isn't it."

Not being able to answer those direct eyes, he simply nodded 'yes'.

"But why Ken-san? I thought this was your home now. I thought you were finished with wandering around the country. Why? Why Ken-san? Are you not happy here anymore." Megumi finished as her throat thickened with tears she could no longer hold back. 

Kenshin's heart constricted painfully in his chest; he knew he was inflicting unnecessary pain upon his friends, but he didn't have a way to soothe their hurt away. He could not give them the answers that they needed. He turned and looked at Sano whose back was still turned to him effectively shutting him out. He looked down at Yahiko whose face spoke of pain and betrayal. Moving from Yahiko to Megumi, Kenshin looked into her face, which spoke of pain and confusion.

Yes, he was happy here, but he couldn't tell her that. Yes, for a while he dreamed that his wandering was over and that now the Kamiya compound was his home. He allowed himself to dream. But one thing about dreaming, sooner or later you have to wake up. And he just woke up sooner than he expected. Finally, he shifted his gaze to the one person he hadn't heard from: Kamiya Kaoru. Gazing down at her bent head Kenshin's chest gave another painful tug. Yes, he once allowed himself to dream.

He wondered why she hadn't said anything since he made his announcement. He wanted so badly to figure out what was going on in her head. He also wished that with this good-bye he would be able to voice the feelings that constantly over-whelm him whenever he looked into her beautiful blue eye and felt her sunny smile aimed his way.

For her he was leaving. He had to protect her at all cost--even if it meant leaving her. He wouldn't be able to handle it if Kaoru was hurt again because of the things he once did in the past. To protect the one he loved he was going to leave her, and probably never come back again.

Kaoru listened patiently to what was being said and asked. Kenshin wasn't fooling her. She had been around him too long, not to understand what he was doing now. She still was not privy to the majority of his darkest secrets, but she still knew him well enough to know his real reason for going away. He really couldn't hide that from her. She finally looked up her lapis lazuli eyes shinning with tears that she refused to shed. No, she wasn't going to let Kenshin see her tears. Not again. Not when she was leaving her again.

Kenshin looked into those blue eyes of Kaoru's and tried to memorize every detail he could, before he left on his long endless journey. 

"It's about the kidnapping," said Kaoru finally. "Isn't it?"

Kenshin almost didn't hear her over the wails and sobs coming from Megumi's direction that she was having a hard time trying to control. He was tempted to lie to her, but he knew he couldn't. It was his final moments in her presence and he could not leave on a lie. 

"It's not only about the kidnapping, Kaoru-dono," he said. "It's about all the events that have led up to your abduction. Because I've made friends with you and everybody else, I've put you all in great danger. Because I used to be the Hitokiri Battousai, I'm constantly hunted and it has put you all in the path of this danger."

"Kenshin you can't know and control everything around you. How were you supposed to know that I would be kidnapped? You can't live your life thinking about what could happen every time one of us leaves this dojo." 

"I know, but I still have to leave, Kaoru-dono," he replied holding up a hand to stop her before she could cut him off. "When I was hitokiri, I had two choices that I used to think about often. I had the choice to let my target enjoy what life they could, or remove them from their lives. In the end, I chose a gruesome death for those people. I..."

"KENSHIN!" Kaoru screamed finally interrupted her voice thickening with unshed tears that she refused to let fall. "That was a long time ago."

"No, Kaoru-dono, it wasn't. It was last night and almost every night when I close my eyes. Because of who I was, people will come after those, and me--around me. I have to go. I will NOT chose death for you!"

Hearing the conviction in his voice, the little ray of hope that was burning inside of Kaoru's chest winked out. She hung her head low; she had lost. There was no way she would be able to convince him to stay. She felt more tears gathering behind her eyes threatening the ones already there to spill over and roll down her cheeks. I won't cry Kaoru thought, I won't cry. However, inside she was breaking. 

Straightening her shoulders she plastered a fake smile across her face, and reached inside the sleeve of her kimono and found the sowed in pocket. Reaching inside she pulled out the medium bag of money that she stashed there. She clasped it between her two hands to keep them from shaking. Kaoru lifted her head.

"I understand, Kenshin." Kaoru stated quietly. Again, the dojo residents were shocked to their core. 

What they hell was she talking about? What did she mean, by "I understand"?

Yahiko finally had the strength to look back up at Kenshin. Megumi's tears ceased to a small hiccup, and Sanosuke finally turned back around. They waited for what else that she had to say.

Kenshin looked confused. "You understand?"

She smiled and nodded. "You have to do this for yourself. To maintain your sanity."

Kenshin just nodded.

Kaoru smiled a sad smile that reflected in the deep blue pools of her eyes. Unclenching her hands she held out the money, she had saved to give her and Kenshin a special evening out. Who would have thought the money would end up being a good-bye present she reflected ruefully.

Kenshin just stared at the bag in her hand before realizing it was for him to take. "No, Kaoru-dono," he began to protest. "I can't take your money."

Still holding it out to him, she persisted. "Take it. I insist. Think of it as a good-bye present." Her voice had thickened with unshed tears. "I would hate to think of you having to sleep underneath the stars. Besides, you will probably just give it to the first person in need that you meet. But I will feel better knowing that you have it on you." Rushing the sentences out of her, because she knew in a few more seconds the tears would begin to fall.

Kenshin reached out and took the money from her hand, putting it inside of his shirtsleeve pocket. "Arigatou, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin said with sad eyes.

Finally realizing that was the last time she was going to hear Kenshin call her 'Kaoru-dono' the tears she had tried so hard to keep inside slipped slowly down her cheeks.

"Kaoru-dono?"

Taking a several steps forward Kaoru grabbed Kenshin and held him in her arms as her heart began to break in half, and her dreams melted away.

Kenshin felt the hot tears land on his scarred cheek giving him a profound sense of deja vu. "Kaoru-dono?" He asked again still locked in her embrace.

Slowly Kaoru angled her head up a notch so her mouth could reach his ear, and whispered in a voice thickened with tears "Sayonara, Kenshin." Releasing her hold on him, she took one last look at his face, before turning around and running inside the compound walls.

Kenshin just stood there staring at her retreating figure, as it disappeared inside. And at the same time inside, he felt empty. An emptiness that he thought he could bare when it came time to say good-bye. But this emptiness was much more profound as if he was losing a large piece of his soul. A part he knew about and a part that was hidden. His heart felt heavy.

Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Megumi had listened and watched to what had transpired between Kaoru and Kenshin. Each of them knowing that it was the last time those two would ever see each other again. And it was all Kenshin' fault. They too felt a lost of something unknown.

Kenshin looked around at his friends' faces hoping that in time they would understand. "I'm sorry," he began before Sanosuke interrupted him rudely.

"_Che_, cut the sorry crap." Sano pointed a finger at him. "You know exactly what you are doing. So, take your shit and go. And that's all the 'bye' you'll get from me." With that said Sano turned on his heels and went inside after Kaoru.

Yahiko spoke next, and just shook his head. "I don't know why I thought I could always depend on you, Kenshin. Kaoru has been the only person I've been able to depend on. Well, bye. I hope you find what ever the hell you're looking for." Then he too disappeared from sight, leaving only Megumi standing outside the walls.

Kenshin looked up at her standing in her doctor's uniform and waited to see if her parting words were going to be as full of anger as Sanosuke and Yahiko's were. 

Megumi looked at the hesitation on his face and smiled. "No I'm not going say anything like the idiot and the boy." 

Her words pulled a small smile from Kenshin's face. Her and Sanosuke's feud will never end. Slipping a hand into her blue overcoat pocket, she produced a red tin with cherry blossom leaves painted on it. Kenshin recognized it as the same medicine tin Kaoru gave to him over a year ago when he fought Shishio. 

"I refilled it with the original medicinal cream." She began struggling not to break out into tears again. "Take it with you. Not only does the case bring good luck, the cream will come in handy if you should hurt yourself or find some who isn't badly hurt."

Kenshin looked at her and nodded. "Arigatou de gozaru Megumi-dono." He put the tin can inside his other pocket.

Megumi smiled as tears tumbled down her cheeks. "Good-bye Kenshin have a safe journey." She bowed to him and followed the others inside the dojo.

Kenshin looked at the dojo compound one last time. Hefting his stuff up from where it had been leaning against a cherry blossom tree, Kenshin bowed to walls of the dojo. And whispered his final good-bye. 

He was rurouni again.

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End Chapter 1. 08/14/00. Shishou M. Coming next time: Cause and Effect. As always comments and criticisms are encouraged, and this includes flames, too. pmchivas@hotmail.com

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Japanese words:

Arigatou--Thank you.

Che--All-purpose curse word. 'Damn' or 'shit.'

Sayonara--good-bye.


	2. Cause & Effect

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The Journey Home

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Cause & Effect

Chapter 2

Kaoru stood in the middle of the dojo compound staring at nothing particular just wishing that the hot tears running down her face would finally end. Only moments ago she has said good-bye to the one person she had come to love deeply. Himura Kenshin. He was leaving her again, to continue on his wandering ways. Forgetting he had once promised her never to leave again. That now he considered the dojo home. Nevertheless, he'd given that all up for some stupid idea that he was protecting her from further pain. Too bad he wasn't here now to see the real pain that, no sword could bring--the pain of feeling her heart break. The pain of knowing that with that final good-bye she gave away half her soul. Thinking about the final good-bye that Kenshin said to her, the pain inside her intensified to where she doubled over in grief.

Sanosuke silently entered the dojo to see Kaoru standing in the middle of the courtyard. From the shaking of her shoulders, he could tell that she was still crying. Sano rarely saw Kaoru cry, but when he did it was always because of Kenshin. That bastard! He didn't know a good thing when he had it. For someone so in tune with Jou-chan the asshole didn't know a damn thing about her. And if he did, how could he leave her like this? How?

When Yahiko walked in, he saw Sanosuke who was clinching and unclenching his hands as if he needed someone to punch. Kaoru was silently crying in the middle of the courtyard. Unlike Kaoru or Sano, he wasn't pissed or saddened, well, maybe just a little bit. He was mostly confused; he would have never thought in a million years that Kenshin would walk out on Kaoru again. Not after all that trouble, they went through to bring him back from Kyoto and depths of despair when Enishi 'killed' Kaoru. And the thing about his enemies sure they had come, and were scary, but they always defeated them, the Kenshin Gumi was unstoppable. Why did Kenshin change his mind? Why? Yahiko looked off into empty space trying to find his own answers why Kenshin would suddenly leave him behind.

Being the last person to come into the dojo Megumi shut the door quietly behind her. Like Yahiko, she would have never thought that Kenshin would volunteer to leave Kaoru again. Kenshin was always so sweet, gentle and polite. No one would have ever guessed that he could be so cruel to his friends--to his heart. Sure, she would have liked Kenshin to look at her the way he did Kaoru, but she knew that he never would, and lately she didn't want him to. She just teased Kenshin and Kaoru out of habit. Megumi looked at Kaoru's shaking back from the forceful tears that she was shedding so silently. What happened to make Kenshin want to leave her again? Why was he leaving all of them behind again?

"They won't stop," said Kaoru in a sad voice startling the others out of their own private musings. "They won't stop. I'd promised myself not to shed a tear, but they won't stop. They keep falling down. How do I make them stop?"

The three turned and looked at each other not knowing what to say to put Kaoru at ease. But, they couldn't think of anything to say or comfort at that moment.

"You must think I'm crazy for letting Kenshin go."

"No!" The three voices cried out in unison.

"That's nice of you. I know that you don't really understand, but I had to do it. There's nothing worse than being stuck in a place you do not want to be; that's why I didn't remind Kenshin about his promise to me.

Each of them silently agreed. They too still remembered their situations before Kenshin came into their lives. They had not wanted to be in those dealings, but they couldn't find a way out without breaking those promises they made. Until Kenshin showed them a way to get out, and found them a way to hold onto their honor or get it back.

"Gomen nasai, mina. I ruined everything...everything."

Striding forward, Sanosuke spun Kaoru around to face him as the others gathered around. "That's not true Jou-chan. And, you know it. If anybody ruined anything here, it was Kenshin. Not you!"

"You don't know what I did. I ruined everything," she repeated as she covered her face and leaned into Sanosuke's arms where she continued to weep. Sanosuke wrapped his arms around her while he methodically ran his hands up and down her back trying to hush the new gale of tears she'd just let loose. His eyes were silently pleading with Yahiko or Megumi to say something to stop the tears.

Although, Megumi was moved by the tenderness that Sanosuke was displaying now, she couldn't come up with a single thing to say that would calm Kaoru down.

Noticing that Megumi was lost for words-a first--and Sanosuke was lost for words-no big lost. Yahiko knew it was all up to him to say something to calm Kaoru down. _Yosh_, Yahiko thought, now what to say. After thinking up several things and discarding them, he finally settled on the only thing he thought was worth saying at that moment. "It's his loss."

As soon as the words left Yahiko's mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said them. Moreover, with the glares he was getting from Megumi and Sanosuke's directions he definitely knew he shouldn't have said them. But the words seemed to have the effect needed, because Kaoru's tears dried up.

"You're right, Yahiko" came the muffled reply from Sano's shirt. "It is his loss." Pushing away from Sano, Kaoru opened her eyes and eyed the members standing there as she wiped at the wetness on her face. 

Sagara Sanosuke: proud, brave, foolish sometimes, but a true friend. Takani Megumi: beautiful, knowledgeable, a good cook, and an excellent doctor's assistant. Myojin Yahiko: arrogant, foul-mouthed, and a little rough around the edges, but he's been the best student and younger brother that she'd ever had or want. They were all a little older and wiser because of Kenshin--and passage of time--but she knew looking at them, because they had become a family she was holding them back. She had to set them free.

Yahiko needed to become a man, she didn't know how to teach him, and instead of going out into the world and learning how to become a man, he would be stuck with her. Afraid to leave her behind like Kenshin did. Sanosuke wasn't even a native to Tokyo, and he was stuck here in this city because he would be afraid to leave her behind, also. Megumi another non-native to Tokyo she had family in Aizu. She'd learned everything that Dr. Gensai could teach her about running her own clinic. Again, she wouldn't leave to carry on with her life if she knew she was abandoning Kaoru. She was holding them back. She'd messed things up and now she had to fix them.

"His loss?" Sano questioned.

"Yes his loss," she said beaming a smile from her tear stained face. "If he wants to leave. Fine it's his choice and his loss. If he wants to play at being the lone rurouni then let him. Why should we waste tears over his choice? If he prefers the trees as his friends, then us it's his loss."

"Humph, we're a great bunch of people who don't need his constant supervision, and if he can't see it that way-well it's his loss."

"If he doesn't want to stick around and see me become a man," said Yahiko. "It's his loss."

"If he doesn't want to take part in our little family," Sano added. "It's his loss."

The four of them looked around at each other smiling then said as one, "It's his loss!" The smiles soon turned to laughter as they suddenly cheered. Kaoru threw back her head and let the high Tokyo sun warm her face, and dry what wetness left from the tears. 

The high Tokyo sun, is it afternoon already? The day is almost gone. Kaoru went to open her mouth to say just that, but instead of words coming out a gasp erupted, making her stumble nearly losing her footing at the unexpected pain.

"Kaoru-san what's wrong?" Asked Megumi all traces of laughter gone from her face, in its place a cool efficient doctor emerged. "Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?"

Kaoru waved her way. "No it's just that I noticed it's the afternoon already."

"So," said Sano.

Kaoru glared at him. "Which means the day is half gone. So, you promised you would help your friend Katsu-san today. Yahiko promised to help Tae-san down at the Akabeko, and Megumi-san has patients to tend to until Dr. Gensai returns tomorrow from vacation."

"_Che_, Jou-chan. Katsu, and Tae will understand if Yahiko or I don't come today." Scratching his head, Sanosuke turned toward Megumi. "However, I don't think that the Fox Lady's patients will understand if she doesn't open the clinic today."

Megumi tossed her black hair over one shoulder and pointed a finger at Sano. "Baka! I can always have a sign put on the front of the clinic for any serious injuries come to the Kamiya Dojo."

"No you can't," contradicted Kaoru. "You need to open up the clinic. Sano needs to help Katsu-san. And Yahiko needs to help down at the Akabeko like he promised."

"Then what are you going to do, Kaoru?" asked Yahiko. "I'm not leaving you here by yourself to cry some more."

"Do you see me crying? I don't plan to do anymore crying today. I plan to organize and clean the dojo, and unless you want to help with that, I suspect you will find yourselves elsewhere.

Not needing Kaoru to repeat herself all three opted to walk out the door. Sano stopped and looked back, but Kaoru just made a shooing motion with her hands, while she smiled at him. Though not entirely comfortable with leaving, her by herself Sanosuke stepped out, and shut the door tightly behind him.

Kaoru glanced around the compound and sighed. She'd ruined things now she'd have to fix it. Kaoru silently made her way toward the bedrooms. They would hate her at first, but then they'll see the wise decision she'd made for all their sakes.

She had to fix things.

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Megumi and Yahiko waited patiently outside the dojo for Sanosuke to shut the door. In silence the three walked down the street, their minds in accord about the young girl they left behind in the compound.

"Should we have left her behind?" Asked Megumi, voicing the question they were all thinking. "Maybe we should have stayed with her."

"Don't worry about Kaoru, Megumi. She's just doesn't like people to see her cry," replied Yahiko.

"Yeah, I agree with the brat. Jou-chan should be all right. You know she really dried up with that 'His loss' thing earlier," reinforced Sanosuke.

"Demo..." 

"Don't worry," said Yahiko. "Kaoru is tougher than she looks."

As they neared Dr. Gensai's clinic Sanosuke stopped and touched Megumi on the shoulder, before she could walk up the steps. "I don't really think there is anything to worry about with Jou-chan. Like Yahiko said she is tougher than she looks. Kenshin's desertion has just shaken her composure for now. All she needs is some time alone. We all know that she already spent yesterday cleaning the entire dojo. Don't worry about her. She'll be okay."

Megumi just looked at Yahiko and Sanosuke. Should I believe them she thought. Would they lie to me? Yes and No. Yes, if they thought it would benefit them. No, if they thought something was wrong with Kaoru, they wouldn't let her stay by herself. "I guess your right. Kaoru-san just needs some time to adjust." She smiled at them. "I'll try not to worry too much. If you get to the dojo before me, tell Kaoru-san that I'll make dinner tonight."

"Yatta!" Exclaimed Yahiko his mind drifting thinking of all the good food she would cook. 

"_Yosh_," said Sano as he walked away. "You just tend to your patients Fox and we'll see you later."

As Sanosuke and Yahiko walked down the road to the Akabeko, they both felt a gut wrenching pain. They knew they'd lied to Megumi, and were only guessing-hoping Kaoru would be better by the time they came back to the dojo.

"You know Sano," started Yahiko. "I really hope Kaoru is going feel better."

Sano sighed. "I know what you mean Yahiko. I can't help feeling that something's wrong." They stopped in front of the Akabeko, "Even though we told the Fox not to worry. I'm going to say going to say the same thing to you-though it won't do any good. Don't worry."

"You know something else Sano," called Yahiko before he walked inside the restaurant.

"What?"

"Kenshin is a dickhead."

Sanosuke just smiled at the boy knowing this was the first time, since Yahiko had met Kenshin some three years ago, that he'd bad-mouthed him. "Yeah, he is," he said before walking away.

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Kenshin made his way down the open dirt road putting several miles of dust between him and the Kamiya dojo. If only he hadn't ruined things. Maybe he could have stayed. He sighed looked ahead and saw between the trees the setting sun. It was getting dark. He was going to have to find a place to stay for the night. 

Kenshin finally settled on grassy knoll surrounded by trees and a few large boulders. This would be a good place to sleep for the night. In the distance, he heard a stream. Sighing he spoke to himself aloud as he walked toward the brook. "It looks like I'll be having fish tonight."

Staring into the fire that he built to keep himself warm and to cook the two fishes that he caught at the stream, Kenshin watched the flames flicker and dance as they cooked the fish and ate at the firewood. He thought of the home he left behind. He snorted. Could he really still call it his home? I wonder what everybody's doing right now. Are they still angry with me? Does Kaoru hate me?

He sighed and reminded himself again that he walked away to protect her, but the haunting sound of her tears and the whispered 'sayonara' resonated in his ears and heart. I wouldn't blame them if they hated me right now. He sighed again; right now I hate me. But I know this is for a good reason. 

Kenshin listened silently as the twigs in the fire snapped and crackled, while the fire itself illuminated the darkening forest. If only I hadn't ruined things. Shadows danced upon Kenshin's face as he thought back to the events that led to him deciding to leave Kaoru, and the dojo along with the rest of its sometimes residents.

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As rain mingled with the blood that dripped down his face, Kenshin watched the quickly disappearing body of Tamura Nobuto plunge to his death. Only moments before Tamura had thrown his body off the cliff, when Kenshin disarmed him during their fight. He didn't even give Kenshin the chance to save him or ask why Tamura had kidnapped Kaoru. Instead, he looked back at the cliff behind, and threw his body off, alternately laughing and cursing the Battousai.

Kenshin watched as the body hit the rocks below with a solid thud. The tide rushed up and carried the body away. Kenshin slowly relaxed his grip on his sword. This fight was unlike others that he fought before, in all other fights he had either known or heard of the people he fought. Tamura Nobuto was neither. And he still didn't know anything about Tamura except for the fact that he wanted to kill him and to draw him out he kidnapped Kaoru.

How did he know? Kenshin wondered. How did he know that Kaoru was his weakness? How had he known that to draw him out was to kidnap Kaoru? Why did he want to kill the Battousai? Where did his anger come from?

"HELP," screamed Kaoru from her precarious position. "Help me! Kenshin the rope is nearly cut through, I don't have much time."

Kenshin turned, "Kaoru-dono!" He ran toward her body, which was suspended above a bed of sharp knives on a rope that rocked back and forth, as another knife slowly cut, the thick rope. Inching her closer to the bed of knives below. He had seen her try several times during the sword fight to break free, but being trussed up with her hands tied and feet tied she couldn't do anything--but wait. Either wait for Kenshin or wait for death.

Kenshin ran to the tree where Kaoru was secured. "Kaoru-dono daijoubu de gozaru ka?"

Blowing hair out her face Kaoru got a better look at Kenshin below. "Iie! My kimono's wet and it's made me heavier."

"I don't think it's the rain," muttered Kenshin. 

"NANI YO!"

"Nothing de gozaru." Jumping up he cut what was left of the rope with his sword angling his body to catch her before they hit the sharp knives below. Landing easily Kenshin said underneath his breath, "It's definitely not the rain."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," said Kenshin as he sliced off the ropes, so she could stand up.

"Are you all right Kenshin?" Kaoru asked worriedly as she watched him sheath his sword.

Kenshin looked down at the blood on his hands, "I think so; the blood is not important right now. We need to get out of the rain the storm's getting worse."

"I saw a shack, when he brought me here."

"I saw it too."

Darkness had fallen quickly as Kenshin and Kaoru tried to find their way to the lone shack. Pouring rain coming down fast and hard made their visibility almost nil. Kaoru stumbled twice and would have ended up on her face if Kenshin hadn't caught her each time. Thoroughly drenched Kaoru had almost given up hope that they would find the shack, before her legs gave out. 

Kenshin was worried; his side was hurting furiously and he could feel the slow drip of blood down his thigh. He hoped his side would hold out, he didn't want Kaoru to worry about him. She would just take responsibility for his injury. He just hoped that they found that shack soon. An electric blue streak of lightening lit the southern sky highlighting the cabin that was only a few feet away. "We're almost there, Kaoru-dono."

Reaching the small building, Kenshin tried the door and found it unlocked and easy to open. Kaoru went to walk in but Kenshin's arm shot out blocking her way; "Let me check it out first Kaoru-dono." Walking inside Kenshin could only see the shadow of a huge metal tub, but nothing suspicious or threatening. "It's okay Kaoru-dono; it's safe."

Kaoru walked into the small hut, grateful to be out of the rain. To her left were a dirty window and a pile of hay in the corner. She looked down at her blue kimono, which looked more like a dark purple now that it was soaking wet and splotches of mud was on the hem. "Mou, Kenshin I'm all wet, and it's freezing in here."

Kenshin who had been feeling his way around the shack glanced back to her. "I found some firewood in one corner. I'm looking for something to start a fire."

Kaoru glanced around to see if she could help him locate a something to start a fire. Getting down on her hands and knees, she felt around near the pile of hay that she saw in the corner. She felt around until her hands brushed over some sticks wrapped together. "I think I've found something Kenshin," she called as she stood so he could see her better.

Kenshin turned and walked toward her to see what she had. Taking the sticks from her, he felt the tops and discovered that these were what he needed. "This is good, Kaoru-dono, now I can get a fire started." Moving to where he saw the metal tub, he pulled it into the middle of the room. "Could you bring me some of that hay Kaoru-dono while I get the firewood?" Kenshin strode over the other far corner to get the kindling. Bending down he felt a sharp pain in his side, "Itai," he whispered silently to himself hoping Kaoru had not heard. But she had.

"Kenshin, are you okay?" 

"Hai de gozaru."

"Are you sure?"

"Aa. It's nothing to worry about." Kenshin picked up the chopped wood and carried back to tub where Kaoru had earlier dumped in the straw. Depositing his load Kenshin removed one of the matches and struck it on the side of the tub, watching it flare to life. Kenshin lit the hay around the logs, before he lit another match to light the logs. Because it was so dry, the wood caught on fire quickly. Kenshin sent up a silent pray now they weren't going to freeze to death.

Kaoru also had given up a prayer of thanks that the matches worked and they were finally going to have not only heat but light also. She watched as Kenshin slowly got to his feet. He was entirely wet--not as if she was any better--but she knew they had to take off their clothes or risk catching a cold. When Kenshin pivoted around to get a better look of the cabin, she let out a grasp noticing the red stain on his hakama. "Kenshin you're bleeding."

"I know." Kenshin looked down at his side and noticed the blood had soaked through and had become a noticeable stain. "Oro, I didn't think it was this bad," he was trying to make Kaoru feel at ease.

"You should have told me Kenshin." Kaoru remonstrated him; hurrying over to him to examine his wound. She looked around for something that she could use to tend to his injury. Spotting what looked like a blanket in another corner, she walked over to discover that it was actually more than one blanket--there were four of them. Kaoru shook them out to chase away any lingering insects and dust. "Here," she said holding out one of the blankets to him, "take off your hakama, so I can see how badly you're hurt."

"Kaoru-dono you don't have to--"

"Off with your shirt."

"But..."

"I said OFF!"

"Hai!" Kenshin replied, not wanting to anger her further. 

She watched as Kenshin obediently took of his hakama and gasped again when she saw the gash on his side. "Gomen nasai, Kenshin. If I had been paying attention, I wouldn't have been kidnapped, and you wouldn't have gotten hurt like this."

Kenshin saw the tears swell up in her lapis lazuli eyes; he knew she would take the blame for him getting hurt. She always did. Kenshin looked down at his side. "It's not so bad." He wiped a tear that rolled down her face. "This is not your fault."

Kaoru just shook her head. Taking one of the blankets she went to the door and held out a corner, so some rainwater could wet it. She moved back to Kenshin and began tending his wound, but faltered when she heard Kenshin suck in a painful breath. "Gomen ne. It doesn't look too deep, so you should be okay. I wish Megumi-san was here to do this."

"You've done enough. Now it's your turn to get out of your wet clothing."

"Demo, Kenshin..." she as too embarrassed to continue.

Seeing the faint blush that spread on her cheeks Kenshin smiled. "Why don't I hold up a blanket for a screen, while you change?"

"But you'll hurt your side."

"It doesn't hurt that much, it only pains me when I bend my side. Therefore, I will be fine. Please, Kaoru-dono, I don't want you to catch a cold, because you're worried about me." 

Kenshin took another blanket to create a screen for Kaoru to change out of her wet kimono. Stretching his arms high so that several inches of the blanket would be over his head, to give Kaoru the security that he could not see her unclothed form. 

Kaoru stood motionless for several seconds making sure that Kenshin couldn't see her before she changed into one of the blankets. Reaching behind her back, she undid her obi and the rest of her clothes laying them flat on the ground to dry. Picking up the blanket, she wrapped it around her naked body.

Making sure that the blanket was tightly secure around her body Kaoru walked up and placed her hands on top of Kenshin's. "I'll take the blanket now Kenshin, you need to get out of the rest of your wet clothes."

Kenshin slipped his hands from under hers reluctantly. He did not want to change out of his pants, nor did he want Kaoru to yell at him, so that only really left him with one choice. Untying the straps to his pants, he slipped them off, and laid them flat on the floorboards to dry. Kenshin picked up the last remaining blanket to wrap around his own nudity. Looking down at himself Kenshin blushed. There was no way the day could get worse, he thought ruefully to himself.

"Kenshin I think the fire's going out," Kaoru called to him.

"I'll get some more wood."

Kaoru tentatively dropped the cover to peek over the top to see if Kenshin's was decent. He was. Kaoru gave a cautious smile. "You look cute wrapped in a blanket, Kenshin."

"Oro?" Kenshin turned and blinked at Kaoru his arms full of more firewood. "Sessha?"

"Hai." She smiled again as she watched as a red hue, spread over his cheeks. "Kawaii."

Kenshin coughed and walked to put the tinder in the dwindling fire. 

Kaoru looked at him before she turned to spread the blanket that they had used as a screen over some straw on the floor to so they could have a somewhat padded place to sleep. 

Kenshin glanced over from idly feeding the fire to see that Kaoru had arranged a sleeping area. In the soft glow of the firelight, Kaoru's creamy complexion became an ethereal glow. She looked like a mini-goddess straightening out the corners on the makeshift bed. Kenshin shook his head at the thoughts that were raging through his head. He already knew that she would violently object if he suggested he sleep elsewhere. How was he going to get out of this one? Kenshin stood up and tried to pretend that he didn't know that the bed was for the both of them intending on ignoring the complications it represented, but his side felt differently. "Hsst," cried Kenshin as he sucked in a painful breath.

Kaoru quickly turned to him. "Are you okay, Kenshin? Maybe you should come over here and lie down."

Kenshin smiled. "I'm okay. It's nothing."

"I still think you should lay down, Kenshin. You need the rest."

"Demo, Kaoru-dono..." he stopped not knowing how to put it delicately.

She smiled reading his mind perfectly. "Kenshin we're both wrapped in blankets and I trust you."

"Kaoru-dono--"

She looked up him from the blanket with eyes nearly in tears, her last weapon left in her arsenal. "You need to lay down Kenshin."

Kenshin sighed. He couldn't stand the sight of her tears. "You're right I need to lie down." Crossing over to the make shift futon, he gingerly lowered his body to the floor, and turned to face her.

Real tears started to fall down her cheeks as Kaoru noticed the grimace that came across Kenshin's face as he lowered himself down on the blanket. "Gomen nasai, Kenshin. If I hadn't been so stupid, I knew I was being followed, I should have done something about it then you wouldn't have been hurt."

Kenshin reached over to wipe off one of the falling tears. "It's not your fault. It is my fault for being the Hitokiri Battousai. Moreover, I'm glad you didn't do something; you might have been hurt or worse killed. I rather have my blood spilled, then to ever see an inch of yours outside your body. "

"Oh, Kenshin", she sighed reaching up she grabbed one of his callused hands. "It's not your fault either. And I rather none of our blood was shed." She held onto his hand few more seconds before letting go and rolling over.

Following suit, he turned over to his good side to rest, but images of Kaoru wrapped in her blanket kept invading his mind. Even his hand would not let him sleep! He could still feel her soft flesh under his callused thumb from where he wiped her tears away. 

It seemed like hours passed before Kaoru finally rolled back over toward Kenshin where she not only stared at his back, but also inched forward to share his body heat. How could I almost get him killed? Why didn't I stop myself from being followed? 

He froze when he felt her roll toward his back and inch closer. He wondered if she could feel the heat rising from his body, or the furious thudding of his heart. Feeling her eyes on him, Kenshin turned back to see her dark blue eyes regarding him silently. His own violet eyes questioned back.

Kaoru reached out to take his hand into hers where she just held it as she continued to look into his eyes. She'd been laying there thinking about how close Kenshin came to losing his life trying to save hers. If she had lost him, she would have never gotten the chance to tell him how much she loved him. Moisture misted her eyes again; because of her Kenshin nearly lost his life, and now was badly hurt. Kaoru stared down at the hand that she held in her possession, the hand of her dear Kenshin, raising the hand to her lips she laid a faint kiss upon it.

In the silence of the shack, Kenshin lay shocked as he listened to the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. Kaoru reached out and grabbed his hand where she intertwined their fingers, and kissed it. He could not believe it. Kenshin looked back up to her face where he saw her eyes were gathering tears again. Not wanting to free his one hand Kenshin leaned up on his forearm and looked down into Kaoru's eyes. "It wasn't your fault," he whispered. Then did something that surprised them both: he kissed her--on the lips.

Kaoru blinked when he drew back. Her first kiss from Kenshin. She smiled and felt warmth spread throughout her body.

Kenshin drew back in shock, and quickly looked down at Kaoru's face to access the damage he just unwittingly committed. He didn't mean to do that, but it felt so right at the time--especially given his increasing feelings for her. "Kaoru-dono, I 'm sor--"

Kaoru rose up a little. "Shhssh," she whispered, "I'm not." Leaning forward, Kaoru kissed him back. 

Caught up in the kiss Kenshin pulled Kaoru's body closer to his, to hold her securely in place. And for the rest of the night, they only needed one blanket.

**

***********************************************

**

As Kaoru wandered around the dojo memories of Kenshin flashed in her mind: Kenshin cooking in the kitchen, Kenshin washing clothes with the children, Kenshin drinking tea with Dr. Gensai on the porch, Kenshin he was...he was everywhere. He was an integral part of her life, and now he was gone. Kaoru opened the door to Kenshin's room and glanced around; she could even see him sleeping. Now she will never see him do any of these things again.

Walking further into the room Kaoru shut the door behind her looking down she glanced at the letter and two pictures in one hand and the make wooden case in the other hand. The letter she had addressed to Myojin Yahiko, and wooden case was the last gift her father gave her before he died. She could still hear his voice when he gave it to her, "_Use this when you have **no** alternative. Do not bring shame to your family_."

Kaoru sighed who would have thought that she would ever have a need for this little box. She haltingly moved toward the center of the floor where she dropped to her knees and placed the letter a few paces away from her, but she kept the picture within reach. Setting the wooden box down in front of her Kaoru stared at it, before opening it to reveal a small dagger that she had kept sharp over the years. She did not need to test the sharpness of the blade knowing already that it was well honed for what she was going to do.

With tears in her eyes, Kaoru glanced down at the pictures she'd laid next to the box. One was the picture that she had taken two or three years ago, with the money Kenshin had gotten when they foiled that train robbery. She could remember what she was thinking when she sat in the chair surrounded by her men: _Where did Kenshin get that horse?_

The other picture was of Megumi surround by Dr. Gensai and the children; she remembered how excited Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan were about the photograph. Oh, how they rushed to get dressed in their prettiest kimonos, and have their hair styled in traditional Japanese fashion. She and Megumi had a good laugh together watching Kenshin try to help Suzume-chan dress.

"I'm going to miss you my friends," she lovingly whispered to the pictures as more tears raced down her face, and her mind became bombarded with thousands of memories. "I'm really going to miss you. When we meet each other again, please don't be angry with me."

Picking up the knife from its bed Kaoru turned it where it was pointing blade at her stomach, no she thought I cannot, I could never.

Pushing the sleeves up on her kimono, she looked at her wrist; from Dr. Gensai she learned how cuts on the wrist that were deep enough could cause fatality. Redirecting the knife, Kaoru slashed one wrist in a cross scar pattern. The pain was excruciating, but Kaoru was able to hold onto the small sword with the other hand and do the same slash routine she did on the other wrist.

Dropping the dagger Kaoru lay down on the floor with head looking toward the pictures, she watch as her blood pumped out of her torn body spread across the floor. _I should have moved the pictures_ were her last thought before Kaoru gave her weary soul up for an eternal sleep.

****

*************************************************

Yahiko distractedly bussed another table, his mind on Kaoru, for the last few minutes he'd been having a weird feeling that was bothering him, and he did not know what to do. He couldn't tell anybody about his feelings or they would look at him strangely or worse like some paranoid _woman_.

Tae watched as the distracted Yahiko placed another bowl into the tub he carried. He must be still shaken up from this morning, she thought as she watched his slow sluggish movements. Who would have thought that Ken-san would leave Kaoru-chan? She'd already had so much heartache in her life she didn't need more. Just when I think something more would come out of that relationship. She shook her head and tsk'ed to herself. _Men what strange creatures they are!_

Tae watched on as Yahiko cleaned up the last table from the Tanaka party, and decided that he should go home and be with Kaoru. "Yahiko-kun," she called to him.

Yahiko deep in his own thoughts didn't hear Tae call him until the third time. "Hai."

"After you take those dishes to Rei to be washed you can go home."

"But my shift isn't over, Tae-san."

"I know, but you've had a tiring day. And you're an honorable person who has stood straight through all this, and managed to keep your promise to help me today, but I think you need to go home and be with Kaoru-chan."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," he answered sheepishly remembering how he was going to cancel today and stay home with Kaoru before she kicked him out the dojo. "Domo arigatou, Tae-san."

Yahiko walked to the back of the restaurant and gave the dishes to the new dish washing guy, Rei. Turning around he went to hand his apron on a spare wooden peg, but found Tsubame blocking his way.

"Ah, Tsubame," he called some moments later when it came apparent that she was not going to say anything. "Can I help you?"

Blushing Tsubame looked up at him. "Y-Yahiko-kun, I hope you feel better tomorrow." Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up, kissed him on the cheek, and blushed once more before she ran outside to attend to a customer.

Yahiko stood there for a moment looking at her retreating figure then proceeded to hang up his stripped apron, with a disgusting yellow daffodil on the face of it. Kaoru had made it for him to wear at the Akabeko. He would have asked for a new one but Tsubame thought it looked cute on him, so he was stuck with it--for now. Yahiko said his thanks and good-byes to Tae for letting him leave early. Once he left the Akabeko he picked up speed walking and within two minutes, he was flat out running to the dojo.

Arriving at the dojo Yahiko walked around to the front entrance to enter the house. It was quiet. "Tadaima," he cried as he walked in tabi covered feet through the house. "Kaoru?" 

No answer.

He tried again, but to no avail. Was she sleeping? Yahiko strolled over to Kaoru's room, and called her. "Kaoru?" Still no answer. He knocked on the wooden frame as he called her name again. However, there was still no answer to his summons.

Looking around Yahiko noticed how quiet the house seemed. It was deathly quiet. Since he had come to live here he'd never heard it be this quiet before, something was always making a sound. However, not even the sound of a lone chirping cricket came forth. 

Sliding the door open to Kaoru's room, Yahiko looked inside and found the room empty. _Where could she have gone_? Maybe she went to walk over to Megumi's house to see what they were having for dinner. 

Yeah. That was it. She was over at Megumi's to find out what's for dinner and walk back with her and the kids. Demo, Kaoru didn't know that Megumi was coming over to cook dinner. I was going to tell her when I got home. Well, maybe she was in the kitchen hut cooking. But I didn't see any smoke coming from the kitchen.

The strange feeling intensified inside Yahiko as he stood gazing into Kaoru's room. Backing out the room, he shut the door and proceeded to systematically search the dojo, kitchen, storage, bathroom, bathing chamber, and dining area but found no trace of Kaoru. 

Getting frustrated Yahiko sauntered back to the house and search it. He checked the sitting room, the guestrooms and still found no trace of her. The only room he didn't check was Kenshin's room. But Kaoru wouldn't be in there--would she?

"Kaoru?" he called softly. With a shaking hand, Yahiko slowly slid back the rice paper door, and found a terrifying sight. Lying in the middle of Kenshin's room was Kaoru surrounded by blood. A bloodied knife lay by one of her hands. Her creamy complexion now was a grayish hue from lack of oxygen and blood. Her wrist lay flat as they continued to pump out her life's energy from the slashes she had made.

"KAORU!!" Running to her side, Yahiko pushed her over on her back, and pressed one of his small brown hands on her wrist to try to stop the bleeding. The blood would not stop flowing; he stared in shock as it seeped through his tight fist. _Why?_ Yahiko called to her again, "Kaoru! Wake up! Open your eyes, Kaoru." 

Leaning forward, Yahiko slapped her cold cheek with his bloodied hand, but still received no response. "Hey, busu wake up. This isn't funny." Unbeknownst to him hot tears had been flowing down his face for a while. He wiped at them but only succeeded on smearing blood over his cheeks.

Standing up quickly he wiped his hands over his yellow and green hakama, moving towards the doorway. I have to find help. Not knowing where he was going Yahiko ran out the nearest exit. Rounding one corner, he blundered into something strong, hard, and white.

"Nani," came the surprised voice.

Hearing that deep, but familiar voice Yahiko cried out, "Sanosuke!"

"Oi, Yahiko. Did you miss me that much that you had to run out here and throw your arms around me?"

Yahiko lifted his tear stained face to Sanosuke. "Tasuke! Please."

Sano looked at him in surprise. He expected Yahiko to yell at him and insult him. Not to look at him with tears in his eyes asking for help, and blood on his hands. _Blood on his hands_? _What in the hell happened_? "Yahiko, where's this blood from? What's wrong?"

Tears streaming down his face, Yahiko choked out, "It's Kaoru. She's badly hurt and bleeding all over." His eyes went opaque as he remembered the gruesome scene. "There was blood everywhere...everywhere."

"Shit! What the fuck happened?" Sano yelled shaking Yahiko.

"I think-"

"Forget it we don't have time." 

They took off running toward the dojo, with Yahiko leading the way towards Kenshin's room. Inside Sanosuke came face to face with the horror that confronted the young boy when he opened the paper door. "Shit!" he exclaimed when he walked over to her body.

Kaoru's pallor had taken on a cold bluish color, as Sanosuke stood over her body looking down at her he could tell that death was about to make an appearance at the Kamiya Dojo. He glanced at the pictures that were now lying in blood, and the knife to the left of them. He had watched as Death took his beloved Captain away, but he wasn't going to let Death win this match--not this time. "Yahiko, put on your shoes, we're taking her to Megumi." He called behind him as he picked up Kaoru in his arms.

Yahiko pulled himself together and got his shoes from outside the house entrance where he had left them, and met Sanosuke at the dojo entrance.

When Sanosuke saw him round the corner, he took off in a dash. As he ran toward down the road that led to the clinic one of Kaoru's cold hands fell across his chest, still bleeding heavily from the wrist. "Shit, Yahiko hurry up she's loosing more blood and getting colder," he said as he increased his speed. Damn Kenshin, he thought this is his fault! If he hadn't left Kaoru again...

As they hurried along Yahiko too was cursing Kenshin in his head. Damn Kenshin! He was _always_ trying to play the hero! Always willing to make sacrifices, but he doesn't know what his 'noble' actions leave behind. "Fuck you Kenshin," Yahiko muttered to himself. "We don't need you anyway."

Coming up on the hospice Yahiko did a burst of speed to run past Sanosuke and his burden to beat on the front door. "MEGUMI! Open up! We have an emergency."

Standing behind Yahiko Sano added his voice. "Oi, Megumi! Open the door. It's Jou-chan."

The door slid open to reveal an aggravated Megumi with a scowl on her face. "Couldn't you guys wait for me to get to the dojo to cook dinner? What's with all the--" Her voice trailed off as she got a better look at what Sano carried in his arms, and the tear streaks on Yahiko's face. "Kaoru-san!" She turned to look at the two men. "What happened to her was she attacked? Follow me and explain."

"No," said Sanosuke as they quickly navigated the hallway to the clinic's operating room. "It looks like she is trying to commit suicide." He answered watching as Yahiko lit the necessary lights.

Megumi stopped and stared at him while she tied on her white operating apron and cap. "Suicide? Are you sure?"

Yahiko answered this time. "A knife, a letter, and some pictures we'd taken were laid out on the floor before her," he said as his voice warbled. "There was so much blood."

Laying Kaoru down on the table Sanosuke backed away to stand next to Yahiko who was bravely trying to hold back tears. They both looked on as Megumi walked over to Kaoru and methodically began to examine her, and see if she could save her.

"Hmm, her wrists are slashed pretty well," she confirmed what they already knew. "I need to get her kimono off to make sure she didn't slice herself up anywhere else. I don't like the looks of all this blood." 

Moving to a table Megumi picked up some string, bandages, and a brown sack. "Each of you get a stool, and get on one side of Kaoru." Shifting toward Yahiko, she took the string and wrapped it around the upper arm of Kaoru. "This will stop the blood flow some," explaining as she went. "The bandages I'm wrapping around her wrist, and you'll apply pressure to it--as tight as you can don't worry about hurting her she's passed out. Again this will help slow down the blood flow." Striding around to Sanosuke, she explained the same process to him. "Now sit down on the stools facing away from Kaoru. I'm about to undo her kimono."

Megumi reached over and undid the simple obi that was holding Kaoru's kimono together. Moving the first and second layers out the way she found herself staring down at Kaoru's chest and noticed that her wrappings were undisturbed, tinged with blood, but in good condition. Quickly moving her trained doctor's eye down she stopped at Kaoru's midsection and gasped. _Masaka_!

"What?" cried Sano and Yahiko jointly.

"Nothing." She hastily covered up Kaoru's unclothed body. "Nothing."

Working efficiently Megumi took Kaoru's left arm from Yahiko; unwrapping the bandages, and opening up the brown bag, pouring some black powder on the wounds. Passing the bag to Sano, she told him to do the same thing. "Yahiko-kun get one of the treated sticks and set the top on fire."

"If you need more light I could just bring the lamp over here."

Looking up with a harried expression, "I need the lighted stick to set the gunpowder that I just poured on fire."

Sano let out a stream of curse words. "You had me pour gunpowder on Jou-chan's gashes."

"Yes," she said giving him the same look she gave Yahiko.

"I'll explain later, right now we don't have time." Taking the stick from Yahiko she set it to the gunpowder where it raced to life in a small fire the shape of an 'X' before dying. "Now give it to Sanosuke so he can do the same." Reaching inside her overcoat Megumi pulled out her small sanitized sowing kit and began to stitch up Kaoru's wrist.

Pulling the last stitch through Megumi rose to her feet and stretched her back. "It's finished" she called to the sleeping Yahiko.

"Will she be all right?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "It's up to her body to see if it can repair the damage she did. She lost a lot of blood and we don't know long she was bleeding before you found her Yahiko-kun."

All three turned to look at Kaoru's sleeping form. What had driven Kaoru to want to kill herself? Didn't she know she could have talked to them about anything? Why Kaoru? Why didn't she go to someone? 

As the trio continued to look at Kaoru's sleeping body wondering if all Megumi's work would be for nothing and they would end up cremating Kaoru's body anyway, they came to one singular conclusion: This was **_all_** Kenshin's fault.

Sanosuke turned from Kaoru to regard Megumi for a minute. She had worked hard she needed to rest, but he had to know one thing before she went to sleep. "Fox Lady. Why did you gasp when you pulled back Kaoru's kimono?"

"Yeah." Yahiko rose to his feet. "Why did you gasp?"

Megumi looked upon the inquisitive faces, and wondered if she should tell them the truth. Did they really have the right to know? Was it her business telling them? She then turned and looked at Kaoru. Humph, that idiot girl! Didn't she know that they were here for her--all of them not just Kenshin. Like it or not right now they were responsible for her and both Sanosuke and Yahiko deserved the truth.

Swiveling her head back around Megumi looked at the two men, and answered as blunt she could be.

"Kaoru's pregnant."

=================================================================

End Ch. 2. Created [09/03/00] Finished [12/29/00]. Yeah, I know this plot line was kind of obvious, but hey I like the obvious sometimes. Next chapter: No Need for Kenshin. As always when I end a chapter, critiques and comments are welcomed. Heck, I even welcome flames. So email me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com I also have a guestbook if you prefer. Shishou M.

****

Lunatics Ravings:

Che--All-purpose curse word meaning either "shit" or "damn."

Yatta--All right!

Yosh--Don't know if this is Japanese or not, but I heard in a Spielberg cartoon _Invasion America_, and the word meant "Good" or "Okay" in the alien tongue.

Demo--But.

Nani--What?

Tasuke--Help.

Tadaima--I'm home.

Busu--ugly

Masaka--Never or It's impossible.

Gunpowder--I got this concept when I was watching _Bad Girls_, and the Asian woman treated one of the girls that got whipped in the back by placing small amounts of gunpowder into the wounds to burn away infection and to help seal off the wound. This movie was a western, so I think the date's fit, if not you can blame it on my darn poetic license.


	3. The Aftermath

****

The Journey Home

__

Aftermath

Chapter 3

Kaoru slowly awoke to the muffled sounds of people in the background. Did I die, she thought, as she sluggishly opened one eye. Her wrist ached, wasn't her pain supposed to disappear with her death. However, the nagging dull ache in her wrists persisted, and she came one viable conclusion: she was alive. She glanced around the chamber and recognized Dr. Gensai's recovery room. _Why am I here?_ Opening both of her blue blood-shot eyes she sat up gingerly to examine her wrists, only to find them bandaged. I didn't die.

Her eyes roamed over the clinic as she listened to the deep rumble of Sanosuke's voice as he spoke to more feminine one of Megumi's. A sudden wave of disappointment overwhelmed her knowing she was alive and in the clinic. Her plan to commit suicide had not been completed. Megumi must have saved her life.

Megumi the beautiful doctor saved her life, thwarting her plan to free them all from her tight clasp. She wanted to put an end to the shameful ruination that would become of her and her ancestors. _Damn_, Megumi the doctor…

Kaoru glanced back downward at her wrist and noticed the kimono she had been wearing had been changed to a light robe. Megumi again, she thought bitterly, as looked at the gray robe and moved her hands to feel the slight mound her stomach made. Everything about her was still alive.

Kaoru eyes searched the wooden ceiling as streams of tears poured out the sides. "Everything has survived. Why?" She screamed at the un-answering ceiling. Knowing she wouldn't get any response she lowered face into her hands letting the tears fall freely in her hands. _Why was life tormenting her? _

****

*******************************************************

Yahiko looked up from where he was helping Suzume-chan eat her soup without spilling it over her kimono. "Did anyone hear that," he asked the group gathered at the small dining tables.

Sanosuke looked up and cocked an ear to see if he heard anything. "It sounds like someone crying." He shrugged. "This is a clinic, and Dr. Gensai is seeing patients."

Megumi wiped her hands on her apron and stood up, "I'm going to check on Kaoru-san. Maybe she's awake, it's been three days since I've treated her."

Sano looked up at her and sighed, "Don't put too much into it Megumi. It's been three days since she's been here and no change. I think it's time to be reasonable. Jou-chan's lost to us, now we need to do the right thing and realize this."

"NO!" screamed Yahiko as he stood to his feet lifting Suzume-chan with him. "Kaoru's fine. She's just resting; she lost a lot of blood, so she needs a lot of rest. She's fine; before we know it Kaoru will be bossing us around like before. The only thing that is going to change is that there will be no Kenshin!" The young boy slammed out the clinic leaving behind him a stunned silence.

Megumi glared at Sano as she hit him in the back of the head. "Haven't I told you not to say such things around Yahiko? He hasn't come to terms with maybe losing both Kaoru and Kenshin within a span of hours."

"But he has to deal with reality sooner or later," replied the abused Sano rubbing at his head. "Jou-chan hasn't roused in three days since we brought her here. Not only that her coloring hasn't returned either. We both know that if she doesn't wake up today--she's dead."

"Do you want her dead Sanosuke?" asked the young doctor. "Don't you hold onto the belief that she will awaken soon?"

"Of course I don't want her to die. But I will not live in a fantasy, I've done that before, and it's no fun," he spoke in embittered voice. "I once believed that the Sekihou Tai would be the champion to the common people with the governments help, and we would be rewarded for it, but _that_ didn't happen. Then I actually believed that Kenshin would be with us forever, and eventually I would see the marriage between him and Jou-chan. But _that_ didn't happen either. I'm not going to be betrayed by life again, by hoping Jou-chan will wake-up and be full of life."

"But what do you have left to believe then Sanosuke," she asked quietly. "What do you have left? What do any of us have left if not hope?"

Sano grunted and turned his back on her. 

****

***********************************************************

Since Kenshin departed and Kaoru now lying near death, Sanosuke and Yahiko's personalities had changed dramatically. Sano who usually would have dealt with this by going away and gambling with his friends, seemed to never leave the clinic, and had taken to perverse thoughts and moodiness. Yahiko who use to practice daily, now spent all his free time with the children either picking Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan from school or helping them prepare for school. 

Megumi turned away from Sano and went to check on Kaoru hoping on this day she could return with better news. Silently walking down the corridor she heard the crying that Yahiko commented on earlier. It was coming from the recovery room; she took a deep breath, pushed the curtain aside and walked in.

Sitting in the middle of one the hospital beds was an alert Kaoru, softly crying into her hands. "Why? Why didn't I die," she cried as she continued to weep. "Why--"

"Kaoru-san," called Megumi softly from the doorway. 

Kaoru raised her head showing her swollen red eyes to the female doctor. "How come I'm not dead? What happened?"

Megumi walked cautiously to the bed, her eyes watering with every step she sat down next to Kaoru. "Kaoru-san, you're awake," her voice wavered as she gazed into the young girl's eyes clasping her hands. "We almost gave up hope that you wouldn't come back to us. You've been asleep for three days. Dr. Gensai and Yahiko kept a vigil the first day. Tae-san sat with you the second day. The girls tried to stay with you the third day but Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan had school." She rushed the jumbled sentences out of her mouth, as her mind tried to calm down her heart that was rapidly beating against her chest.

"I asked how come I'm not _dead_, not who sat with me." Kaoru's eyes had remained stony, through Megumi's tearful one-sided reunion.

Megumi rapidly blinked at the harsh tone used. "Kaoru-san you were found in a puddle of blood inside Kenshin's room, where both Sanosuke and Yahiko rushed you here." She watched a flicker of emotion flash in Kaoru's eyes; "I treated you for deep lacerations to both of your wrists. After treatment you stayed sleep for three days, where we feared you were dead. I also told everybody that you were pregnant," she finished in cool matter of fact voice.

Kaoru looked at her out of surprised blue eyes. "You know? And you told everybody."

"Kaoru-san, I'm a trained doctor," Megumi snapped at the young girl still not liking her attitude since she found her sitting up in the bed. "I told everybody because you had no right keeping it from us. I'm guessing Kenshin didn't know?"

"I guess I have no secrets left," she smiled ruefully. "No, he didn't know. The day he left I was going to tell him I was pregnant. I honestly thought things had changed between us." Kaoru glanced down at her hands. "I'm sorry about my reaction, I'm still tired. I think I'll rest some more." 

Megumi stood up and watched Kaoru roll over on her side. "Kaoru-san don't worry, we'll take care of everything. We will always be here for you." She walked out the room.

In the quiet room Kaoru let tears run down her face. She had tried so hard to fix things so she could let her friends free, and now she only succeeded in clutching them closer to her breast.

****

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Kenshin walked slowly down another dirt road he didn't even know where he was it was just another faceless nameless town as the last one he went through. The many miles that he put between him, Tokyo, and Kaoru wasn't weakening the heartache he was feeling. Several times he had to forcibly stop himself from turning around and pleading with his friends to take him back--to admit that he made a mistake.

He still couldn't believe he acted so bold with Kaoru the night in that shack. Bold was one way to put it, but he liked to think of it as stupidly. His becoming one with Kaoru might have been heaven for the moment, but reality came back to him soon after. As he lay next to Kaoru with her warm body snuggled in the crock of his arm, his thoughts began to plague him. For his night of soul binding passion with Kaoru he had permanently changed their fragile relationship. That night a wedge had been formed.

That night in the shack with the rain beating down upon the roof he became weak looking into his Kaoru-dono's blue eyes he let loose his raging storm that he kept bottled up inside him underneath his polite façade. But now with the new development that he unleashed their relationship moved in the wrong direction. Kamiya Kaoru had finally really become his true weakness--and he had to leave her.

Traveling down the dust road Kenshin knew there was only one place for him to go: he had to go home. He hoped his Shishou would welcome him back.

****

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Megumi closed the door to the recovery room and noticed that either Yahiko or Sanosuke had moved the breakfast dishes. Well, she'll just have to thank them with some good news. She walked to the door and found Dr. Gensai, Sanosuke and Yahiko sitting on the porch drinking green tea.

Sano looked up when she stepped onto the porch, and then quickly turned away showing her the 'Aku' on his broad back. "Come to smack me in the head again, Fox."

Megumi narrowed her blue eyes him, "No, but I should anyway. No doubt you probably said some things that warranted it while I was gone."

"Yeah, he did," replied Yahiko staring absently at his cup his brown eyes intent on the swirling green mist his tea had become. "You should have heard the things he called you, too."

Sanosuke's black eyes glared at the young boy. "Traitor," he muttered.

"Ah, Megumi-kun," called Dr. Gensai diffusing the situation before any more problems could arise. "Sanosuke-kun, said you went to check on Kaoru-chan. How is she?"

Megumi's eyes gathered tears, "Kaoru-san, is…"she choked on her words dropping to her knees, "Kaoru-san is--" she couldn't hold back the tears. Leaning forward she sought comfort in Sanosuke's arms hoping to bring her tears under control.

The three men stared at each other, all their eyes held the same answer: Kaoru was dead. There had been no change since she came to the hospice three days ago. Sanosuke tightened his hold on Megumi symbolically apologizing for the words he'd spoken earlier, because he knew he spoke an untruth he'd really hoped Jou-chan would wake-up. And now she was dead. Sano moved his hands up and down her back as he felt her flood of tears soak the wrappings on his chest. He thought he hated Kenshin before, but now, if he ever saw the redheaded rurouni, he'd kill him no questions asked.

"It's all right," whispered Yahiko as he stood up and tossed his tea away. He watched the green liquid soak into the ground. "I knew she wasn't going to get better. There was so much blood." His haunted eyes filled up as a few errant teardrops slid down his brown cheek. He absently wiped at them, "I think she liked the yellow kimono best. I better go get it."

'_Liked the yellow kimono best..._' thought Megumi as her tears dried up. She pushed away from Sano's chest and brought her head around to gaze at the sloping shoulders of Yahiko as he stared off the porch. Didn't he understand what I said--Kaoru's alive! She quickly replayed her conversation in her mind; an embarrassing blush flowed into her cheeks. "Gomen nasai, Yahiko," spoke Megumi breaking into his tortured silence. "I'm sorry to all of you. In my haste to tell you news of Kaoru's health, I was overcome with three days of pent-up emotions."

Dr. Gensai leaned over placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "It's okay Megumi-kun, and we understand how you feel." The other men nodded along with the old doctor. "We know how hard you worked to save Kaoru-chan and we're grateful for it." He shrugged. "Sometimes these things happen."

"No," replied Megumi as she shook free of remorse-giving hands she stood up and spun Yahiko around to face her. "I'm sorry not because Kaoru-san is dead." She watched his black eyes dilate at her statement, and in a split second his sadness was replaced by hot fiery anger. Before he could utter anything, she drew him into her arms and hugged him, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you she's alive!" She listened to the resounding gasps from the men.

Sanosuke jumped to his feet. "Are you lying Fox, because if you are...if you are…" he couldn't finish as his voice began to crack, and hot tears flowed in tiny rivulets down his face. Jou-chan was alive. He leaned his head back and letting his own tears run into his head. I guess Buddha and life does come through once and awhile.

Yahiko arms hung loosely around Megumi her words of Kaoru being alive was slowly sinking through the thick cloud of hate and sorrow surrounding his brain. _Kaoru is alive_…_Kaoru is alive_…_Kaoru is alive_. The mantra pounded into the thick wall of despair striving to break through. _Kaoru is alive_..._alive_. "Kaoru is alive," he whispered softly as his hands clinched Megumi tightly. "She's alive," he cried out tears pouring out of his young eyes. "Can, I see her now," he asked turning out of her arms. He moved toward the door along with Sanosuke.

Megumi bit her lip. She didn't want to stain the moment, but she had to, "Kaoru's sleeping right now, Yahiko, Sanosuke." She smiled at them. "We're going to have to wait for her to surface again, before you can talk with her."

They frowned at her.

Dr. Gensai stood up, and cleared his throat. He saw how badly they wanted to see Kaoru-chan. He also saw that this was the first time in three days that any animation except bleakness or anger was on either of the young men's faces. "Megumi-kun let Kaoru-chan rest for a couple of hours, then wake her up. It's has been three days of non-stop sleeping so, she needs a little break in her schedule."

"Hai, Gensai-sensei," replied Megumi as she smiled at the older doctor. 

The porch residents turned in looked at the other occupants and grinned. 

****

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Kenshin wiped some sweat from his brow. He made it finally, with only minor incidents along the way. He looked up at the long mountain path and reminiscing about the many times he'd "trained" using the path to go up and down the mountain, while fetching his Shishou's favorite sake. Bending down he picked up the simple pack of food and ingredients he'd would be using to cook dinner tonight. He'd bypassed going near the Aioya, he'd didn't want to deal with Misao's questions…or accusations, so he bought his meager stuff from a local road merchant.

Twigs snapped underneath his feet, while animals scurried to get out of his way as he made his way up the mountain. It hadn't even been a week since he'd left Kaoru, and saying their final good-byes, but to him it felt like several weeks had passed; his soul was weary from his journey away from Kaoru and his journey to Kyoto. Kenshin laughed softly to himself, every time he left Kaoru he ran to Kyoto. Was his life destined to begin and end in Kyoto?

Kenshin glanced away from the path and his own footfalls to see he was approaching the tall grass, and the dense trees signifying that he'd come to the top. He walked a little further out of the grassy abyss to see his Shishou seated as always. He was wearing his huge white and red mantle, back turned away from the path (civilization), drinking his sake while starring into his kiln. That was his master Hiko Seijuro 13th a master of the sword, and now the master of pottery.

He cleared his throat announcing his presence. 

Hiko didn't move.

Kenshin nodded his head and walked toward the small house, hoping he wouldn't be plied with questions tonight.

Hiko watched his student walk cautiously toward his house. He could tell he was carrying a burden far heavier, than the one on his back. I wonder what has brought him back to me? He looked closer into the violet eyes of the boy he reared--the boy was running away from something. _Baka deshi._ He raised the saucer to his lips and drank. I won't ask. I'll wait.

Kenshin had been doing his own observation of his teacher from the side of his eyes. It was unusual for his master not to say something to him. He didn't even open his mouth to insult him. He was thankful. He pushed open the door to the small domicile.

"Kenshin," Hiko called finally.

"Hai," he answered back his arm still outstretched ready to push open the door or turn away. He'd almost made it.

Hiko snorted as he picked up the jug to pour him another generous amount of the liquor he so loved. "Take a bath first."

"Aa," came his reply as he pushed open the door to unburden himself. He could stay.

****

************************************************

Dr. Gensai silently walked over to the back room where Kaoru had been sleeping soundlessly for three days, since her ordeal. He pulled back the thin door and peered inside, and she was still sleeping. He wished Kenshin had came and talked to him before doing something so foolish. Maybe he could have stopped him with the news of his unborn child. Kaoru thought she could hide it, but she forgot that he had more experience telling women they were expecting than she had at hiding it. He silently gave her credit for hiding her pregnancy from her friends and, surprisingly enough, Kenshin, too. That was feat in itself, but he wondered why she hadn't told Kenshin. He leaned against the doorframe; I thought she loved Kenshin, so why did she hide her pregnancy from him? How come she didn't wait until she was married? Now she was going to face something greater than loosing Kenshin or giving birth. "The Moral Matrons," he whispered.

"Who are the Moral Matrons," asked Yahiko coming up behind him.

Dr. Gensai gave a startled jerk and clutched his chest. "Ah, Yahiko-kun, you shouldn't sneak-up on old men," he admonished gently. 

Yahiko smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, but who are the Moral Matrons?"

The doctor shook his head. "A terrible force that Kaoru will have to deal with if she decides to live in this town after she has the baby."

"Why? What do these 'Moral Matrons' have to do with Kaoru and her baby?

Dr. Gensai sighed. "Let's just say that we should be thankful we're men Yahiko." 

Yahiko gave the man a hard look that spoke volumes. He demanded an answer.

He sighed. "The Moral Matrons rule over all young women in Shimatachi, they make sure single women abide by the moral guidelines they set."

"But, Kaoru hasn't broken any guidelines by those old women," said Yahiko. "So, I don't know why she should be wary of them."

"She's broken two rules that I know of," he spoke quietly as he halfway closed the door. "First she's allowed a man who was not her husband to live with her, and now she is pregnant with his child. They will come down on her."

Two gasp sounded from behind the pair drowning out any reply Yahiko said. Yahiko and the old doctor turned to see Megumi and Sanosuke standing behind them. "I was coming to wake Kaoru-san up, I wasn't eavesdropping."

"I know that Megumi-kun," said Dr. Gensai. "I was just telling young Yahiko one of the many troubles, our Kaoru-chan will face when she come through."

"These Moral Matrons," inquired Sanosuke "what can they actually do to Jou-chan?"

"I don't know for sure."

"They can do anything," spoke Kaoru from bed she'd awaken when she heard Yahiko and Dr. Gensai talking. "I've been up against them before."

The members standing outside the doorway slowly piled inside the room the last one shutting the door firmly behind them. Megumi took a pillow and sat down on it, while the men sat without any cushion around her. 

Kaoru tried a shaky smile.

They frowned at her.

"I guess the first thing I should say is: gomen nasai," she quietly spoke to the group gathered around. "I was trying to fix things, but I've messed things up worst than before."

"You damn idiot," growled Sanosuke. "Did you think killing yourself would be a way to fix things! Did you think about our feelings at all," he began gesturing to the people seated around her. "Did you?"

"I was trying to set you free," she repeated as tears began welling up in her eyes.

"Set us free from what, Kaoru" questioned Yahiko his fist clenched on his green pants. 

Kaoru glanced up at the young man who was both her student and younger brother. Looking into his brown eyes she could see the hurt and anger. She hadn't meant to hurt him; she was just trying to set him free. In her quest not to be alone she'd gathered people to her and clutched them to her breast. Never once giving them a chance to move on or tie themselves to anyone else. Look at the good job she did with Kenshin. She tried to keep him tethered to her, but only ended up in pushing him away. Kaoru shifted her eyes away and saw the same aching question in her other friend's eyes. 

"I was trying to set you free from me. You don't belong to me. I felt like I was holding you back. I want you to live your own lives and not worry about me. I want you to explore this country of ours and learn the lessons that you need to learn without worrying about leaving me behind like Ken--" She paused and took shaky breath. "I don't want to say his name. So, I'll say like the other person who left me." She stared into the blue eyes of Megumi, "I want you to live out your dreams, and be reunited with family, which you haven't seen in awhile." She turned to Sanosuke, "I didn't want to temper a wandering soul, that wasn't native to this town, but unfortunately got caught in my web." Tears began to spill over her cheeks, "I wanted my friends to be happy."

"So, you think what will make us happy is that crap you just spewed," Yahiko quietly spoke in the room. "Bullshit."

"Jou-chan," spoke Sanosuke rubbing at his throbbing temple. "I know that you wanted the best for us, but knowing you're dead would not make us happy."

"The rooster-head is right," came the womanly voice of Megumi. "You can't presume what will make us happy. Of course, I would like to see my family again one day, but right now _I'm_ not ready." She slapped her hand down on the floor. "Don't make or try to force any decision on me. I am more than capable of thinking for myself, I may make mistakes, but trust me I can think for myself!"

Kaoru flinched back from the hard words. She was prepared for their anger, but not this extreme rage. "I'm sorry. I just thought--"

"Just don't think Jou-chan," Sano interrupted. "You've been thinking too much for us. Why won't you let us think for ourselves?"

Yahiko had been sitting quietly; his mind wasn't on the issue at hand. As far as he was concerned the matter was settled. Kaoru said she was sorry about what she did, and well, he kind of now understood her reasoning. What he was worried about now was these 'Moral Matrons.' Kaoru said that '_they could do anything._' "Oi, Kaoru," he finally spoke up breaking back into the conversation. "What will the Moral Matrons do to you? What did you mean that you went up against them before?"

The room hushed as they turned to Kaoru to explore this new information that was revealed. By an unconscious consensus they agreed that Kaoru's attempted suicide would be forgotten--for now. At that moment they had more pressing business to attend to with the Moral Matrons. 

Kaoru took a deep calming breath before she began, "They are the women who police the conduct of young unmarried females in this town, especially women who have no mothers, and are left on their own. I know the head matron, Emi-sama." She placed a hand on her slightly rounded stomach, "She's going to be disappointed in me, and I owe her so much for…"

"What do you owe her for," asked Megumi suspiciously.

"I owe Emi-sama for letting me keep Yahiko with me, and keeping the other women silent, and when I allowed _that person_ to stay with me." Kaoru began to rub her stomach in circular motions. "I also owe her for allowing me to let Megumi-san stay with Dr. Gensai and his granddaughters."

"What?" the three cried out in unison, while Dr. Gensai remained silent. He'd figured that something like this happened he'd wondered why the Matrons hadn't bothered to come when Yahiko, Megumi, and Kenshin came to live with them. His poor old pride actually believed the Matrons trusted him to know what was best for Kaoru.

Kaoru pulled some of her raven-hair behind an ear as she gazed down at her hand that was massaging her stomach. She couldn't face her friends they didn't know what kind of trouble she was in now. "The Matrons didn't think it was wise for me to have Yahiko live with me, since his past dealings with a Yakuza, they thought he'd be a bad influence on the children. I appealed to Emi-sama to let him stay with me. She got a majority of the Matrons to side with her, so he was allowed to stay." She stopped the rubbing motions, and looked up at her friends. "It was basically the same story with all of you. Kaede-sama will be the most opposition to me," a rueful smile found its way to her lips. "I would ask for help from Emi-sama, but I turned into the one thing that she warned me about, when taking _that person_ into my home. A pregnant, unmarried woman, whose lover has left her." Kaoru began to chuckle silently to herself as tears of shame fell from her eyes. "I argued most vehemently that He wasn't that kind of person. And He wasn't, it was **me** who pushed myself into this corner. I pushed when I should have pulled." She rubbed at the tears on her face. "Alone and pregnant."

"And what makes you think you alone," said Sanosuke. "You have friends all around you who care for you. What I don't get is why didn't you tell Kenshin, you were pregnant?" Megumi and Yahiko nodded their head along.

"I second that question," said Dr. Gensai speaking for the first time, since they entered the room. "If you would have told Himura-san, then I'm sure he'd would have married you.

"Yeah," said Yahiko leaning forward to stare Kaoru in the eyes. "I'm sure Kenshin would have married you, if had told him about the baby, then you wouldn't have to worry about these Moral Matron bitches."

Megumi rolled her eyes. Men, they would never understand anything.

"I didn't want him that way," came her whispered reply. "If it makes you feel better, I was going to tell Him the day, he left." A few more tears slipped down her face. "His news was bigger. I didn't want him to stay with me if he didn't want to. I didn't want him to feel trapped. I wanted him to be free."

Sanosuke slapped his hands on his knees as he stood up. "Yosh, fine I understand, although we are going to have to cure you of your habit with wanting to set things free that don't belong to you," he flashed a toothy smile at her. "Right now I have some business to attend to." He strode over to the door, "I'll be back." He looked toward the others in the room. "Take care of Jou-chan until I get back. Keep all sharp objects away from her." He flashed his smile again and went through the open door.

"What's with him," asked Yahiko looking at the others in the room. "Did we say something that set him off?"

"I don't know Yahiko," replied Megumi as she watched Kaoru rub her stomach again. "But I think it's time for us to let Kaoru-san get some more rest."

"I agree," said Dr. Gensai as he gingerly got to his feet. I'm getting too old he thought to himself. "Plus, Yahiko-kun, I think it's time to go fetch Ayame-chan from school."

Yahiko inclined his head as he jumped to his feet. "Ja na, Kaoru."

Kaoru smiled as her eyes began to droop realizing that she was indeed tired. Before she could lie completely down Yahiko's young arms found themselves around her. She hugged him back, and mentally called herself all kinds of names, to think that she wanted to leave Yahiko behind. "I'll be here alive when you come back Yahiko. I'm sorry, I'll never do anything as stupid as suicide again."

Yahiko pulled away from her and wiped at the few tears on his brown face and smiled. "I'll take that as your promise."

Megumi and Dr. Gensai smiled and nodded at each other as they waited for Yahiko at the door. 

****

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Kaoru lugged another bucket of water to the to the laundry bin. It had been three days, since she'd been able to leave the clinic, and in those three days she swear that her stomach shot out more then in the three months she'd been with child. She poured the steaming liquid in the tub, and wiped at the sweat on her brow. It was hard, exhausting work drawing water from the well, to the kitchen to boil, and then back to the laundry tub. But at least it kept her mind occupied from worry about when the Moral Matrons would come for her. She plunged her hands into the hot soapy water, and began to wash the last load of clothes. It also, kept her from worrying about where Sanosuke went, after he disappeared from the clinic. He swore, he'd be back, but when--and where did he go? Her mind on various things Kaoru didn't hear Yahiko walk up behind her.

"Busu," he screamed his faced contorted with rage. He watched her jump and fall back on her rump.

Kaoru struggled to sit up, and pushed at the ground before Yahiko's brown hands pushed her shoulders forward allowing her to regain her balance. "Thanks." She wiped at the sweat on her brow. "Now, then Yahiko. Don't scream at people it's rude."

"Fine," Yahiko said. "But didn't I tell you to leave the all the hard labor to me. You don't need to be lugging boiling water from the kitchen to the courtyard in your condition."

"My condition? Yahiko I've trained my body since I was seven years old to withstand harsh beatings, mental strains, and severe weather, and believe it or not carrying boiling water to do laundry is not a hindrance to me."

Yahiko snorted. "You must have read that in one of my books. I will tell you this once again: leave all hard labor jobs to me."

Kaoru glared at him that cheeky boy; I'll fix him. "You know Yahiko since I was sick, (that's what they began to call her suicide attempt) you've been left on your own too much." She got up from the ground and pinched on of his arms. "Flabby." She looked at him and tsk'ed while shaking her head. "I can't believe you've let your discipline wan Yahiko. What kind of Samurai are you?"

"What?" asked Yahiko confused. Sure he'd stopped practicing, but he'd had other more important things to worry him. "Have you've been out in the sun too long?"

"As a disciple of Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu," said Kaoru as she began circling and eyeing his small lean frame like a shark before he takes a bite. "You should have been practicing daily to increase your skill level, but from the looks of it I could beat you with one hand in 'my condition.'" A large smile took over her face as she watched the continuing look of confusion flash in his dark eyes. "So, as your Shihondai it is my duty to put you back into shape."

"Put me back into shape," parroted Yahiko.

"Yes, let's see first we'll do a hun--no make that three hundred downward shinai swings." Kaoru watched his eyes widen and jaw drop when he heard the large number. "Then you'll wax the dojo and the porch two hundred times around. Next, we'll move onto somersaults, you need to practice those, and we'll have you do a hundred and fifty of those. And lastly you'll do maybe fifty push-ups and sit-ups, then the rest of the day is yours." She turned and looked at Yahiko's face now resembled a gaping goldfish bug-eyes included. She held back her laughter.

"Y-Y-You're kidding right Kaoru," asked Yahiko.

"You're right Yahiko," she smiled at the relaxed look on his face. "You should do sixty sit-ups and push-ups."

"What!" exclaimed Yahiko and his mouth once more fell open. "That isn't what I meant."

Kaoru blinked at his with wide blue eyes the look of pure innocence on her face. "Whatever are you talking about Yahiko? How can I train you to inherit Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu when you've let yourself go?" She blinked her lashes at him, "I'm only doing my duty as a Shihondai to help my prize student improve himself."

Yahiko mumbled and muttered underneath his breath what she could do with Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. "Fine, I'll got get my shinai." He rounded one corner huffing out a breath and ran straight into something soft. "Ara."

"Yahiko-kun, where's Kaoru-san," she demanded.

"Kaoru?" He gazed up at her with a confused look in his brown eyes. "She's in the courtyard doing laundry. Why?"

Not answering his question Megumi pushed the junior samurai aside and heading for the courtyard. "Kaoru-san" called Megumi as she spotted the quarry she'd been hunting all over for. "You have no time to do the laundry."

"Huh, what," a confused Kaoru asked as she gingerly rose to her feet and wiped her hands on her apron. She shifted her baffled blue eyes toward Yahiko who had followed behind the female doctor, but he just shrugged at her silent question. "What's going on here? Why can't I finish the laundry?" She looked down at her wrists. "I feel fine, and I kept my wrist wrapped."

Megumi shook her head sending her raven-hair cascading over her shoulder. "Tae-san sent me a note, the Moral Matrons are on their way here. They've come to judge you." She became dragging the girl toward the house. "Dr. Gensai has shut down the clinic and I'm going to prepare tea and rice cakes. You need to change clothes." She gave Kaoru a push toward her room.

Kaoru walked off dazed. The Moral Matrons were coming to pass judgment upon her; if she'd had never met That Person, she'd have never had to cross paths with them so often. A few errant tears feel down her face as she reached her room. For better or worse, she'd made her bed and now she must lie in it.

Megumi watched the young girl walk around the corner before she raised a shaky hand to her mouth. "I didn't want her first few days to be spoiled like this. I was hoping that they'd would forget about Kaoru-san and let her live her own life." She turned to Yahiko, "You had better change out of that training gi, and into those nice clothes that Kaoru-san bought you. I have to go and make the preparations." Where is Sanosuke, that baka!

****

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The living room was quiet as all the inhabitants politely drank their tea and ate the rice cakes. Instead of the whole group arriving from the Moral Matrons, they sent two emissaries instead: Kaede-sama and Emi-sama. Both of whom Kaoru expected to come. Kaede-sama as she always hated Kaoru and her family, and Emi-sama, because she'd always been fond of Kaoru and her family.

Mahidhra Kaede was a hard bitter woman, and prided herself upon always knowing the correct and moral way of doing anything. She was brought up in family where the women weren't seen in the company of any man without a male relative present. If even a hint of any impropriety about the women was heard, either a wedding was planned or the female relative disappeared. Now she had to do so for this unfortunate girl. "Kaoru-chan," said Kaede as she placed her teacup down. "We've become aware of your situation, and I must say we are most displeased. As you know we informed you this would happen, if you kept such an association." Her face held a superior smirk.

Tsukino Emi rolled her eyes at her companion. Although Emi had an upbringing similar to her associate, she was far more lenient and understanding toward the women of the town. She knew certain urges overtook men and women alike. Of course she knew Kaede couldn't help but be smug in this victory as Emi herself backed Kaoru-chan. "Kaoru-chan--"

"Please Emi-sama," whispered Kaoru as her looked down at her hands folded neatly on her lap. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I feel this must be said, before either of you continue. I'm sorry for any distress or embarrassment that I've inadvertently brought to our humble town. I also beg the forgiveness of the Matrons," she looked up into Emi's soft brown eyes. "For any direct embarrassment suffered for their previous support of me."

Emi smiled softly at Kaoru. "We acknowledge your apology and accept it on the behalf of the town and everyone."

Kaede silently snorted. She knew whom that 'apology' was meant for. Kaoru was a dirty and needed to be treated as a soiled dove. "Yes, _we_ accept your apology Kaoru-chan," her voice dripped with sarcasm. "But unfortunately an apology won't make what you did disappear." She glanced around at the assembled group: the old doctor, the female doctor, and the young thief--quite a dissatisfactory gathering of people. "Because you insisted on keeping a menagerie of unhealthy associations," she eyed the group daring them to disagree with her proclamation. "We came prepared for dealing out your punishment, which was rendered the first time you approached us to ask for leniency on that lone swordsman: Himura Kenshin. Emi-san will now read to you."

"Emi-sama," interrupted Kaoru again. "Please don't punish my friends for something that I did. Leave all punishment to me."

"But," protested Yahiko breaking his silence. He jumped to his feet and pulled at the neck of the navy blue hakama shirt. "Kaoru we never said that you were going to take the blame yourself."

"Sit down young man," said Emi quietly. Her eyes narrowed as Yahiko tried to defy her, but he plopped back down next to Kaoru. "As much as it pains me to read this, especially knowing how much you care for Kaoru-chan she was warned what could happen when she took all of you into her home." She unfurled the piece of parchment that she had clasped in her hands. "Kamiya Kaoru is hereby restricted from public for the duration of her pregnancy. She is not permitted to leave her family compound until the birth of her baby. She is officially a soiled dove, and will be publicly named so."

The group gasped as they heard the creed. Kaoru was going to be treated as a pariah.

Kaoru clenched her hands. "H-H-How am I supposed to earn a living," she choked out as the tears began to roll down her face. "I teach across town in another dojo. If I'm banned from public, then I won't be able to feed myself and family."

"Well," said Kaede as she picked up the teapot and poured her some more tea. "I guess you should have thought of the ramifications of lying down with one who wasn't married to you." She sipped her tea, as she glanced around the dojo. "I guess you could sell this place and move away."

"My ancestral home," sniffled Kaoru. That was unthinkable. She'd already sullied the Kamiya name, but to sell her ancestors…no she couldn't do that. Not ever. "I can't do that. Not even to appease the Matrons."

"Then I'll guess you'll have to abide by the punishment handed down to you Kaoru-chan," said Kaede as she placed her teacup firmly down. "Because you know in my days, the women had enough decency to kill themselves rather than bring shame to their families." She looked pointedly at the scars on Kaoru's wrist. "Well, at least you did try to do something decent."

"Kaoru-chan," spoke Dr. Gensai from behind her as he frowned at the Matron Kaede. "I'll help support you and your baby. You know I've always thought of your family as part of mine."

"No," she whispered. "I can't take charity from you Dr. Gensai. You have a family to support, too." Kaoru turned and looked at him. "I know you and Megumi treat a lot of your patients without taking money. I can't take food from your granddaughters' mouths. "

Yahiko looked back at her, "Well, I have my job at the Akabeko, that could help." He offered up, but he knew that his small salary wouldn't help pay for the simplest items. He now understood the dire circumstances facing him and Kaoru. He'd never thought about it, but Kaoru always paid for everything. And now they weren't even going to let her work. They were going to try and starve Kaoru to death, or make her to leave town with their forced imprisonment. "Bitch," he muttered underneath his breath. The Matrons were no better than Kenshin in his mind.

"I guess that leaves _me_ to take care of the Raccoon-girl," spoke a deep masculine voice as the paper thin door to the sitting room was drawn open revealing Sagara Sanosuke. He was dressed in an outfit, which bore a resemblance to his usual attire, except this one was red with white trimming, even the 'Aku' on his back had been written in white. "Hi," he waved and shut the door behind him. "Sorry I'm late, but I was taking care of last minute details." He plopped down next to Dr. Gensai.

"Sanosuke," whispered Megumi who let out a breath that she'd been holding since he disappeared and she feared he had left Tokyo to chase after Kenshin. "Where have you've been?"

"Opening up a business," he replied like it was normal thing for him and need not further explain.

"A business," snorted Yahiko. "What kind of business can you run? You can barely handle your gambling debts."

Sanosuke smiled. "Brat." Then he turned to the Matrons. "I had a friend do some research on what you might do to Jou-chan so I took some precautions. I opened up my own small dojo, and I'll be the one taking care of Jou-chan until she has her baby."

Kaoru shook her head. "No, Sanosuke. I can't allow you to do that."

"You can't allow me _not_ to do it Jou-chan," he shot back. "When I left you at the clinic, I was pissed at you and Kenshin. But then I began to think. Kenshin may have protected us with his sword, but you protected us with yourself. You begged for us, and opened up your home to us. You even lent some of us money when you didn't even have the extra money to lend." He ignored the 'it was only you' that came from Megumi and Yahiko's direction. "I thought it was time I helped you. But what could I do? I'm an ex-streetfighter, and gambler so what skills did I have other than fighting." He smiled at the Matrons. "I opened up my own school to teach my fighting style. I call it 'Fist of Sagara.'"

Kaede arched a perfect brow. "And how to you suppose to get students to come to this 'school' of yours to make it profitable."

"Oh, I've already got students," said Sanosuke. "When people heard I was opening up a school to teach my fighting technique I had a full class before I even bought the sign." He stood up and smirked. "Jou-chan will adhere to her 'punishment,' but she won't be leaving town."

Emi smiled at the young man. "Our duty is finished here." She rose to her feet. "Kaede-san shall we leave."

Kaede frowned. Damn, cheeky criminal. "Fine, Emi-san." She took one last venomous look at the group. "Too bad Himura Kenshin can't celebrate in this joy also."

"Kaede-san shall we leave?" reiterated Emi as she moved toward the door. "Kaoru-chan, mina-san, sayonara."

"Arigatou Emi-sama," said Kaoru as she walked the matrons to the front door of the compound. She gave a polite bow. "Arigatou."

Emi smiled and Kaede sneered as they bowed back to the soiled dove before stepping into their shared carriage.

Kaoru walked back to the living room and looked at them. They were smiling at each other and laughing. "So," she said as she looked into the dark eyes of Sanosuke. "Tell me about this 'Fist of Sagara, again.'" She listened to Sanosuke launch into talk about his new idea and business. 

Kaoru pressed her hand hands to her slightly bulging stomach; she was going to survive with or without Himura Kenshin in her life. She had other lives depending on her.

=====================================================================

End Chapter 3. Created [07/30/01] and Finished [08/10/01]. Hey all thanks for the wait. I'm terribly sorry, but this year has been trying and continues to be. But I swear, I haven't given up on this story or any other story, it's just taking me longer than I expected to finish this story. Thanks for the e-mails; it was nice chatting with all of you. Next to Come: Where have all the Years Gone? Like always if you have any questions, comments, critiques, and flames send them to me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com. Or if you like drop me a message in the guestbook. Shishou M.

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Lunatic's Ravings:

The Moral Matrons-- I can't remember if it was a Chinese or Japanese film, but in it they had older women who took on the moral responsibility of the young women in the town. Those with or without mothers--in my fanfic I just made them without mothers. But in the movie, the women found out this one unmarried girl got pregnant, visited her, gave her a knife, and told her to kill herself. So, that is where I got the idea of the Moral Matrons.


	4. Seperate Lives

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The Journey Home

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Separate Lives

Chapter 4

Kaoru walked around the compound interior walls one hand resting on her protruding stomach the other hand followed her path along the textured prison walls of her dojo. Her gait was slow and steady as she moved. Her pregnancy was more advanced than when she had been sentenced to spend it inside the dojo. The small child kicked bringing a sad smile to her lips. It was active in her sixth month of pregnancy. 

"It," she said stopping in front of a vine with little yellow perfumed flowers on it. "Sanosuke and Yahiko have already deemed you to be a boy." Kaoru pulled one of the tiny flowers off its life support. Lifting it to her nose, she inhaled its nice aroma. "They say it's to even out the ratio." She patted her rippling belly. "I don't care what you are. As long as you're healthy…and you look like me."

"Sayonara, Yahiko-sensei," said as chorus of voices claiming Kaoru's attention. She watched as several students dressed in their dogi's came out of the dojo. They bowed to Yahiko standing on the porch dressed in his sensei outfit that she had made him. It consisted of an all white dogi with a green and yellow stripe belt around his waist. The children spotted her averted their eyes, as they quickly filed out the door, each of them forbidden to acknowledge her presence, even the ones who were her past students. 

It was a new part of her punishment. Since, Sanosuke's fighting gym had more students then he could handle they split it up in four rotating classes--the last one for the day had just left. The classes were taught in two shifts, sword techniques in the morning and then barehanded fighting techniques in the afternoon. When the Moral Matrons heard that she was having contact with the outside world, beyond her small circle of friends they sent Kaede-sama to issue a new addendum to her punishment. While classes were held inside her dojo she could not converse with the students, nor could they interact with her. It was as if she was in a prison with no walls.

Yahiko came down off the porch as the last student shut the door behind him. "Hey thanks, busu," he said breaking into her musings. 

"For?" asked Kaoru, turning lack-luster blue eyes to her one student.

Yahiko sighed. As the months droned on, he had hope the fire would return to her eyes. It was weird looking at Kaoru without her lapis lazuli eyes shining bright. Now, they were just a dull blue color. Devoid of any emotion. She wouldn't even react to his insults. "You know for helping me with my classes." Earlier in Yahiko's class, too many students had shown up and he had run out of teaching shinais. So, Kaoru suggested he teach another of the many forms of Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu to the students.

Kaoru moved away from him to continue her mid-afternoon promenade around her dojo. "It was nothing. You're smart enough; you would have figured something out. All I did was give you a foundation."

"You did more than that and you know it," he snapped back. "Damn it, Kaoru! I'm tired of you walking around this place like some fuckin' ghost."

"What?" Kaoru stopped and whirled back to her now angry young charge. An answering flash of anger entered her blue eyes. "What did you just say?"

Yahiko let out a cleansing breath. The flare of anger he just witnessed was the first sign of emotion he'd seen in her face since the Moral Matrons had imposed her forced imprisonment. "I said you've been walking around this damn compound like you're some damn ghost!"

Kaoru clenched her hands into fist by her sides. She began to shake with fury. How dare he say such a thing to her? She thought he understood. But I guess he does not. "How dare you, Yahiko! Do you know what it's like? Cooped up inside this dojo for several months until a human child pops out of you. Once that happens allowing you to emerge from your own prison, half the people who previously called you 'friend' will now shun you." Tears began flowing down her face, "Do you have any idea what it will feels like to know that you will be publicly humiliated, because you made a bad decision." She rubbed violently at the tears cascading over her cheeks. "When you feel all those emotions, then **_you_** can criticize me about not feeling happy all the damn time."

Unbeknownst to the sparring pair another couple had entered the dojo that had caught the whole tirade of emotion that spilled from the crying female. Emotion that was pass due, since she had resigned herself to being restricted to her dojo. "Well someone needs to criticize you, Jou-chan," replied the male of the other couple. "You've been getting on my nerves with your spiritless attitude."

Kaoru and Yahiko spun around to see Megumi and Sanosuke in the dojo courtyard. They'd been so caught up in their own argument they failed to see or hear their friends come inside the dojo. 

"I have to say I agree with Sanosuke," said the female doctor as she stepped forward to her friend. "Kaoru-san, you've been acting like the end of your life is coming. However, it's not the end of your life. And I hate to say something so trite, but think of this as the beginning of a new chapter." Megumi stopped and paused preparing herself for the grumbling that she was about to hear. "I know when Ken-san left us, it felt like the end, but it's not. You have been given a whole new chapter to write on, with a whole new life to help you."

Kaoru clenched her teeth. She still refused to have His name mention in her house. "I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to be shamed in my hometown. I thought I was strong when my mother died. I thought I was strong when my father died a few months later. And I thought I was strong when He left me…but I'm not. I am tired of people I love leaving me behind."

Sanosuke walked over jerking her into his arms. "You are not being left behind Jou-chan. Yahiko, me, nor the Fox are not leaving you." He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed more tears. "I know you're scared about giving birth, but you'll have Dr. Gensai with you." He began rock from side to side. "I also know you shouldn't worry about what the damn townspeople say about you. And when you welcome your babe into this world, your real friends will be with you. Your _real_ friends will be standing outside waiting for you."

Kaoru pushed away from his chest and moved back sniffing. "I know. I'm just so afraid. I've let my ancestors down. I've dishonored my family. I keep wondering what the fates have in store for me again."

"Whatever happens, busu," said Yahiko as he put a hand on her shoulder. "We'll be here for you."

Kaoru turned and smiled at her friends. "By the way Yahiko…did you just call me, the Rose of Kenjutsu in this town…ugly?!"

****

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Kenshin added more wood to the kiln his Shishou was using. He had been staying at the mountain for three months, and his Shishou hadn't once asked him why he had suddenly returned home.

He was grateful.

During his time here he had trained some, and tried to keep his mind off Kaoru. But he couldn't. He lay awake at night wondering what she was doing. Wonder if she was thinking about him. Wondering if she was still angry with him although some time had passed. He was always dreaming about her. Sometimes he would dream he was still at the dojo. 

It was always the same dream he would be carrying the laundry to wash for the day. The children would be shouting, "Ken-nisan, come play with us." And of course, he would answer, not until he finished his housework. They would agree to help him, and then he would hear the most beautiful sound in the world: The sound of Kamiya Kaoru yelling at Yahiko. He would look up and see Yahiko scramble around one corner with Kaoru follow fast upon his heels. The sight never failed to warm his heart. However, the minute she stopped to smile at him, his dream would end. Because her shining smile would disappear in a quiver and her, shining blues eyes would fill with tears. 

Kenshin would wake up drenched in perspiration most of the time wondering if his suffering for his wrongful ways during the revolution would ever end. He had tried to atone, by not killing and protecting life instead, but Fate refused to let him atone. He was destined to be alone with nobody in his life to care for, or to care for him.

Kenshin sat down on the log in front of the kiln. "Maybe, I should take Aoshi out for tea." It would at least help him get my mind off Kaoru and friends for a few hours. "But then again do I want to hear another lecture from Misao-dono?" Staring into the fire Kenshin sighed.

"Oi, Kenshin," called Hiko appearing in the small doorway. "I'm out of sake."

Kenshin turned to him and frowned. "You drank both of those big jugs last night?"

"How do you think I ran out of sake?" asked Hiko as he moved to stand before his daydreaming student. "Sake is for drinking. Not for sitting around and looking at."

"Sake is also supposed to used in moderation," pointed out Kenshin. "You're not supposed to drink a lot sake it dulls your reflexes--and mind."

Hiko moved forward threw a bag of money at Kenshin. "When you become the teacher, then you may instruct me." He drew his sword and pointing it at Kenshin, who had left his own sakabatou inside the small hut. "See, this perfect balance. Only a master genius, such as I, could be able to balance a sword like this, while living an entire existence on sake." Hiko sheath his sword. "Now, insolent pupil go and fetch my sake, before I show you how my master reflexes have yet to wan."

Kenshin stuffed the bag of money inside his pocket and moved toward the hut. He began to mutter underneath his breath. "...Always bossing me around.... How did he ever survive without a slave...." and he continued with his tirade picking up his own sword as he slammed the door on his to make his way down the mountain. "See, if I get him the good kind this time."

****

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Kaoru looked down at protruding stomach lately she'd been having a craving for sake, but she'd been told by Megumi that any alcohol was bad for the baby. However, she couldn't help the craving she was having. She was even craving catfish, and she _detested_ that fish. Kaoru let out a big sigh and rubbed her lower back for the last month the baby began to sink lower, telling her that she was close to giving birth. This morning however, the strain on her back was more prominent then had been a couple of weeks ago. It was as if someone was unceasingly beating a drum on her back.

She could not wait to give birth and be able to see her feet, stop waddling, or having someone push her by the back when she needed to get up from her position. Kaoru gazed up at the workmen who were currently redoing the roof she had asked Sanosuke to replace. Technically, Kaoru was not allowed to talk to them either, but since they were Sano's friends, they flagrantly disregarded the rules set down by the Matrons. Their comments were like: "What are they going to do to us? Raise our social standing?" However, she worried every time she spoke to one of them what repercussions the Matrons would decree.

"Oi, Kaoru," called Yahiko as he came around the back as he nearly missed by one of the old tiles thrown off the roof. "I brought your lunch."

Kaoru rotated very slowly toward her young protégé and smiled at him. "Is it sake and catfish," she asked hopefully. She batted her blue eyes hoping that this time he would remember to bring her sake.

Yahiko made a face as he made his way toward the small makeshift table they had put in one corner of the dojo. During Kaoru's pregnancy she began to eat outside, so they fashioned a makeshift table for her. It was crude, but she seemed to like it. "No, sake," he said as he laid out her food. "You know Megumi said you weren't allowed any sake until after the baby is born."

Kaoru pouted. "But I may not want any sake later." The baby gave a kick or so she thought as paused a minute and rubbed at the tightening pressure across her protruding stomach. She waited until the pain passed. She moved steadily forward her gait extremely slow. "So, what else did you bring me, Yahiko?"

Yahiko finished arranging the food neatly and smiled. "I brought you fried tofu, two rice balls wrapped in seaweed, and a nice piece of fish, which I think could be catfish."

"What do I get to drink," Kaoru demanded her voice suddenly going haughty. 

"Milk," he responded flatly. He watched her face wrinkle up in distaste. "Other than tea or water that's all you can drink."

Kaoru grimaced. "Then I would have preferred teeeeeaaaaaaaaa!!" She doubled over in pain. Tears sprung to her eyes as she blindly flailed about for something or someone to grip up onto until the pain subsided.

Yahiko rushed forward and griped her outstretched hand. "Kaoru what's wrong?!!" He cringed as her grip tightened on his hand nearly crushing the tiny bones in his hand.

Kaoru looked up and snarled at him. "I don't know maybe I'm having an adverse reaction towards the fact that I keep asking from sake but people keep bringing me milk!" She panted as another contraction hit her as she prepared to give her errant pupil another dressing down. "Or maybe…just maybe I could be giving birth right now!" As the words left her she felt a warm gush trickle down her legs.

Yahiko looked down at the wetness, which he fervently hoped, had been water that splattered on his sandals. He knew he couldn't leave Kaoru to run to the clinic and back, but there was no way he would be able to carry her all the way to the clinic either. 

Kaoru let out another scream yet one more contraction ripped through her womb. "I take it all back," she panted gripping Yahiko harder. "I don't want the baby out any time soon. It can stay right where it has been all this time." 

"I don't think that's going to happen," muttered the young swordsman as he tried to disengage himself from her crushing embrace.

Kaoru began to wail. "Don't say that! You have to believe or it won't come true." She sniffled again as tried to pull Yahiko closer to her. "Damn him, damn him, and double damn him…stupid hut…stupid firelight…stupid blanket, stupid, stupid!!" She began to shout out more curses as she sank to the ground, singeing Yahiko's ears as her language got increasingly creative. A few of them he thought he could keep for himself to use later he rather liked those.

Yahiko glanced up as one of Sanosuke's friends appeared in front of him. "Oi, Toji."

Toji looked at Yahiko and the cursing female at his feet. "The roof is almost finished, but it looks like you could use some help with her too." He bent down and pulled Kaoru into his arms only teetering once underneath her enormous bulk. "Sano would kill me if I didn't help. Besides I can't leave a female in tears."

"Domo arigatou," replied Yahiko as they began running out of the dojo. 

****

************************************************

Megumi looked up as Sanosuke walked into the waiting room where she wrote the final prescription for a nice old lady, before she closed down to for a small lunch break. "What do you want?" She smiled as the grandmother thanked her walked away.

"Che, Fox," said Sano as he stood over her with his hands crossed over his chest. "I come to take you to lunch and this is the way that you treat me."

Megumi sniffed. "Aren't you supposed to be supervising the new roof at Kaoru's?" She got up and closed the door to the outpatient room.

"No, she didn't like the way I was directing _my friends_," he snorted remembering the scene when she kicked him out of the dojo saying that he was not helping and he should go bother someone else. "Just like when she kicked me out of the baby room, saying that I wasn't painting the room the right way." He dug his hands deeper into his pockets.

Megumi smiled wistfully. "She's just nesting right now. It's the final month of her pregnancy." She moved around straitening things and putting other medicinal stuff away.

"Nesting," scoffed Sanosuke as he muttered a few choice words. "Anyway do want to go out to the Akabeko, you know since I've got my bill paid, I've become a preferred customer." He flashed her toothy smile.

"That's nothing to be proud of," replied Megumi as she stacked the last of the medicines. "You should have been paying your bill long before you got your own business."

Sanosuke gave her a pouting look. "You know if Kenshin hadn't stopped me from contracting myself out to moneyed people, I could have afforded to eat at Tae's before I got my long account."

Megumi turned arms akimbo, "Don't go blaming your bumming attitude on Ken-san," a hint of smile was in her voice. "Bad manner are what you embody Sagara Sanosuke." I wonder how Kenshin is doing she thought for a fleeting moment before dispelling those thoughts from her mind. Kenshin was part of the past now, and dwelling on the past brought nothing but heartache.

"Then I guess you don't want my bad manners taking you out for lunch, hmm?" He rocked back on his heels as he held a triumphant smirk inside as he watched her wrestle with the idea of going to lunch with him. In the last few months, he had become increasingly aware of Megumi's presence as more than just the irritating Fox doctor. No, he began to notice her as the irritatingly pretty raven-hair Fox doctor with the ruby lips that he couldn't help thinking about.

Megumi saw the smirk inch its way up Sanosuke's lips. There was know way he could know that she enjoyed his company, and that her thoughts lately had begun to take a path, that would make a Zen monk blush. No he could not know. He was just being his same old arrogant self. She opened her mouth to speak, "I---" 

Someone was pounding at the door and shouting very loud. Megumi hurried to the front parlor to open the door with Sanosuke following behind her. "This must be some emergency," remarked Sano as the beating on the door increased.

Having roused from his mid-afternoon nap Dr. Gensai met them at the door. He opened it to see a frantic Yahiko, a guy he wouldn't want his grandchildren around which meant it was one of Sanosuke's friends, and a crying/cursing Kaoru. He stepped back beckoning them in, "I'll go get washed up," he sighed and trotted off to get himself prepared to bring Kaoru's baby into the world.

"She's about to burst, and he walks off," screeched Yahiko as he watched Dr. Gensai move down the hall as he stared in disbelief. "I don't believe it." He turned to follow Megumi, Sanosuke, and a laden down Toji to the private room used for surgery.

"When did you go into labor?" asked Megumi assuming the roll of efficient doctor. "When did the pain start?"

Kaoru regarded her out of glazed eyes full of pain; her raven hair was now soaked in sweat and plastered to her head. She looked like a lost child. "When did the pain begin," she repeated and began to laugh hysterically. "It began when I was born! Pain has been with me since the beginning."

Megumi finished tying on her apron as turned toward the pasty looking faces of Sanosuke and Yahiko, "I think it's time to wait outside," she began shooing them out of the room. "I'll call you back in when we welcome in the new addition to our family."

"B-B-But," sputtered Yahiko who was now gesturing toward a hysterical Kaoru who was now giving a run-down account of all the times she had felt pain in her life.

Megumi glanced back and smiled. "It's all right, Yahiko. Kaoru-san is going to be just fine." She steered him out the room shutting the door once Dr. Gensai came inside the room.

Dr. Gensai looked at Kaoru and grinned. "Just relax Kaoru-chan, and follow my instructions."

Outside the room, Sanosuke and Yahiko paced. The screaming inside had them jumping every few minutes. It was horrible. First, there would be a long silence followed by a sound of some wounded animal. But they knew no man nor beast could make that sort of cry of agony. No, that was defiantly the sound of a woman…a woman in extreme pain.

Sanosuke moved away from the door where he had been listening for some sort of sound that wasn't painful. All he heard was the deep rumble of Gensai's voice and the melodic voice of Megumi each pitched too low for him to accurately hear what was going on inside the room. He gazed over to Yahiko who had taken out his shinai and was practicing downward swings as if his life depended on it. However, he knew the boy was listening too. "Relax," spoke Sano cutting into the small moment of silence they had in the room. "Jou-chan has two doctors looking after her, there's no way anything could happen."

Yahiko nodded but refused to break rhythm. 

A cry pierced the deafening silence.

A baby's cry. Yahiko stopped and looked up at Sanosuke. They looked toward the door beseeching it to open.

Megumi's tired form slid opened the door her apron spotted with blood she coughed politely gaining their attention. "Want to come inside and meet the new addition?"

Both men scrambled through the door. Lying on the bed completely exhausted was Kaoru cradling a small bundle in her arms. She looked up and smiled at the guys whom had both fought each other to get through the door. Now they were tentatively standing back not wanting to intrude. "Come in, Sano, Yahiko," her voice a small whisper.

The guys moved closer to the bed were she was lying. "What is it?" asked Yahiko his voice barely above a whisper. He was staring down at the little bundle of ugly splotchy baby and wondering if it was human. He could see some red hair; but then again, it could be fur, judging from how ugly the child was.

"It's a boy."

Sanosuke and Yahiko smirked. "So, what's his name Jou-chan?"

Kaoru smiled. "Tamashii. His name is Kamiya Tamashii."

As he heard his name, the baby opened his eyes for the briefest of moments displaying blue-violet eyes to look his mother and say, "Tadaima," before they quickly closed.

"Okaeri," whispered Kaoru as she closed her own eyes. 

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End Chapter 4. Created [11/04/01] and Finished [01/04/01]. Well, Kamiya Tamashii welcome to RK. Yeah, I know this chapter was short and could have been posted a long time ago, but I was working on the next chapter, and forgot that I hadn't even finished this chapter yet, so I had to do some back tracking. Sorry. Coming next time: The Letter. Send all comments to me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com. Shishou M.

Lunatics Ravings:

Tamashii--Is written with the kanji meaning, soul. Yes, I do know that Kanji is the actual name of the boy child that Kaoru and Kenshin produce. But I named him Tamashii for a reason.

Tadaima--means "I'm home."

Okaeri--Welcome home.


	5. The Letter...

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The Journey Home

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Letter of Return

Chapter 5

Kaoru looked over to where her son was sleeping in her room. The poor boy had an eventful morning with his uncles celebrating his birthday. She watched the rise and fall of his chest for a while before she turned back to the little desk sitting in the corner of her room. She knew what she had to do, but was dreading it. But she couldn't stand anymore nagging from her conscience telling her that she must give her son some kind of family connections other than the ones around the dojo. Covering up her son and patting his flaming red-hair, she walked over to the evil desk to begin her loathsome chore.

Kaoru sat down, pulled out a sheet of paper, and stared at it trying to formulate the words that she wanted to convey to the person she was writing. She moaned and felt like tucking the white sheet of paper back into the desk and going outside for a little sunshine and quiet, before her rambunctious four-year-old woke up. But she couldn't, every time Suzume-chan and Ayame-chan called to their grandfather for a hug; she could see the sadness in his soft violet eyes. He wanted a grandfather too. He already knew Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Megumi had not immediate connection to him. Therefore, his only relative was her, his mother. Kaoru sighed as she picked up the brush dipping it into the ink she began to compose her letter.

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Kenshin trudged up the mountain pathway with a slightly heavy burden on his back. He had just came from the village doing his daily chores of replenishing his Shishou's much loved Sake. He had also stopped at the Aioya to drink tea with Aoshi, and have Misao avoid him as usual. It was funny, when he first returned to Kyoto he'd avoided Misao and her family, because he didn't want her yelling at him or telling him what a horrible mistake he'd made by leaving Kaoru. He didn't need Misao telling him leaving Kaoru was terrible. He knew it, and most of all his heart knew it, too.

Nevertheless, he knew he could not hide up in the mountains forever. He was sure Kaoru would continue her communication with Misao. For that reason, he'd been expecting a knock on his master's door waiting to greet an angry Misao, demanding him to return to Tokyo. Yet, she never came. Misao never found her way up the well-trodden pathway to bang down his door. He decided to go to town and find out why she had not even taken time to visit him and scold him about his relocation. The only thing she said was, "it was his choice, how he chose to live his life." That statement coming from Misao was just plain strange practically since he could see from her facial tic it took all her training to hold in what she really wanted to say on the subject of him and Kaoru. Kenshin shook his head and adjusted his small cargo.

Even stranger was a letter given to him by a courier who had been heading up the mountain. It was a letter for his master, Hiko Seijuro, the 13th master of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. He looked at the handwriting, trying to decipher whom would be writing his master any kind of letter. As much as he knew, Hiko Seijuro _did not_ have friends outside of the Sake shopkeepers in town. 

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Hiko peered at the letter Kenshin handed to him. He'd hadn't even touched his beloved Sake; so shocked was he at receiving the letter. To him letters only brought one thing: bad news. Moreover, he did not need any bad news at this late point in his life. He glanced up to see Kenshin slowly preparing tonight's dinner, but also covertly scrutinizing the long envelope in his hand. His student was curious and it radiated off him, although he was polite enough not to ask what was inside the package. Hell, he was curious, thought Hiko.

Walking away to sit by the crackling fire, he could still feel violet eyes watching him from the small area he used for cooking. He looked down at the letter one more time before flipping it over and unsealing the wax. He pulled out several sheets of paper one containing a picture of...Kenshin? He flipped back to the original page and began to read, aware that his student had stopped what he was doing to watch him.

__

Hiko Seijuro-san,

Pardon me for interrupting your solitude. I am Kamiya Kaoru, shihondai of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu dojo, in Shimatachi Tokyo. You may also remember me as the young woman you met several years ago who followed your student from Tokyo.

The thirteenth master looked up and with a reflective look on his face as he thought back to when Kenshin came from the Tokyo the first time. His idiot student had come back wanting to finish his training. Oh, the female, he remembered her, she was the young woman whose companions consisted of a brash young ninja girl and a junior swordsman. Seijuro nodded and glanced back down to his letter wanting to know why she was writing him.

__

If you still don't remember me I'm the one who sat down on your floor mat before you and told you of what your student had been doing after those years that he left you to join the civil war. Although, I was able to persuade your student to return to Tokyo, it was beyond my power to make him stay.

He knew that already, his student was right now boring holes in his back longing to know what was contained in his letter. Hiko glanced over to Kenshin and lifted a black brow. 

Kenshin blushed and hurriedly dumped the vegetables he had chopped into a waiting iron pot, while his master went back to his letter.

__

I am not writing to you to help me track down your student. I also don't want you to convince him to return to Tokyo, but rather I am writing you to tell you of some joyful news. Congratulations! Albeit a few years belated, nonetheless congratulations. Four years ago I gave birth to a young boy, whom I have named: Kamiya Tamashii. The picture that is included in this letter should tell you who his father is.

Hiko let out a gasp as he shuffled through the papers and found the picture. It was a drawing of a little redheaded boy with large violet eyes standing in a field surrounded by little pink flowers. The little boy had on a small sea-green hakama with a white gi. He was flashing a small toothy smile. "Damn," said Hiko after he studied the image for a few more minutes. "Looks just like him."

"Did you say something," asked Kenshin hoping his master would want to discuss the curious letter that someone sent him. He looked up from stirring the pot expectantly.

"No," Hiko absently replied as he went back to reading his letter. Why did the girl send him congratulations? Why not Kenshin?

__

I hope you enjoy the picture of Tama-chan. It is one of my favorites. You are probably asking why I am sending you this letter and picture. Because of who Tama-chan's father is you are the nearest person my son will have to a paternal grandfather. 

Grandfather? Him? Hiko gulped.

__

I have a room waiting for you, should you ever want to visit your grandson. I know he will want to meet you, as I am the only official family his has, you being Kenshin's adopted father...

He noticed the angry strokes that made his student's name. The rest of her strokes had been smooth and flowing, but when it came to Kenshin's name, it was as if she had to force herself to write it. He raised an eyebrow. A mystery waiting to be solved? He chuckled.

__

...makes you officially Tamashii's grandfather. I hope you are pleased. I will await your letter or visit. Please do not feel cornered in, by the sudden appearance of my son. If you do not want to visit him, do not worry. I will not be telling my son about you unless you contact me otherwise. I understand if you want to remain out of his life.

Seijuro snorted, "Likely chance, especially after receiving this letter."

__

I ask only one more thing of you Hiko Seijuro-san, and it is the most important favor that I will ever ask of you. Please, do not tell your student about Tama-chan, if he should come and visit you. I do not want him to return to Tokyo out of a sense of duty. I am more than capable of taking care of my son. I do not need him around me. Please, respect my wishes on this matter. 

Respectfully,

Kamiya Kaoru

Hiko reread the last part of the sentence and laughed. So, she wanted nothing to do with Kenshin, huh? I highly doubt that. It did not escape his notice after the first time she wrote Kenshin's name; she refused to write his name again. Nor, did she actually say that Kenshin was her son's father. I bet the wound is still fresh, especially if you have a son that looks just like the man you who left you. Hiko shoved the letter back inside the envelope, he held the colored drawing gazing at it for a few more seconds a bare hint of a smile graced his face before he returned it too, back to its original container. _Grandfather, huh?_ I think I like the sound of that. Standing up he placed them among his things, knowing Kenshin would never violate his privacy. In contrast, he could not say the same for himself. He turned with a cunning smile on his face as he prepared to delve into Kenshin's privacy.

Hiko leaned against the wall watching his student try to pretend that he was busy brewing tea for their dinner. "Kenshin," he called. "Dinner smells good."

Kenshin stood up and turned to his master. "Thanks. Did you finish reading your letter?" He wiped his hands on the small towel laying next to the knife he had used to cut the vegetables for the stew. Kenshin picked up the tray and carried their food toward his master. "Was it good news," he asked setting the food down between them.

"Yes," he flashed a smile. "It was from an old friend that I haven't seen in a long time. The letter contained _quite_ the surprise." He moved to take his position in front of the warm hearth across from Kenshin. He picked up his teacup and tested the green tea by sipping it. He made a face. "It needs Sake."

Kenshin got up and retrieved the bottle of chilled Sake. He handed it to his master, his eyes darting to where the letter had been placed. "Is your friend well?" He picked up his chopsticks and began to eat.

"Yes, considering the circumstances," he responded pouring Sake into his green tea. "But, like I said it was surprise to hear from this friend after so long." He drank some of the now spiked tea, smiling at its smooth taste. "But it is good to hear from friends."

Kenshin nodded his head, as his heart constricted painfully. Do I have any friends left?

Hiko smiled inwardly watching the look of sorrow come over his student's face. I guess the boy still misses the girl. "Speaking of friends," he began idly picking at the salmon Kenshin had prepared. "I would have thought you would have received some visits from those people in Tokyo, especially that Kaoru girl."

Kenshin's chopsticks fell out his hands spilling the steamed rice that he was about to eat down his pink hakama. "W-What?" He began to pick up the rice. "Kaoru-dono?"

Hiko let his smile show through as he began eating with relish, "You know that Kaoru girl. She seemed attached to you. I think with the obvious feelings she held for you, she'd at least come and see about your welfare."

Kenshin placed the picked up pieces of rice depositing them to the side of his tray a sad smile on his face. "I don't think Kaoru-dono will be ever visiting me." He sighed. "I doubt she wants to see me after the way I left her." He began to pick at his fish pushing the sliced pieces around as a picture of Kaoru's bright blue eyes filled with tears flashed in his mind. Her eyes filled with tears were one of the many scenes that would continue to haunt him just like the spilled blood on his hands.

Hiko raised an eyebrow at his adopted son. "Why wouldn't your friends come and check on you? For them to never want to see you again or inquire about your welfare would seem unlike the people I met."

"You don't know what I did," replied Kenshin. 

Just the opening he needed. Hiko moved in for the kill. "So, why don't you tell me?"

****

*******************************************

"Kenshin," Hiko sat forward with a serious look on his face. "You leaving them could put them in worse danger, than they were in before you left."

Kenshin blinked wide purple eyes at this master. "Nani de gozaru?" He picked up the dishes. "How could me deciding to leave put them in a greater danger Shishou?"

"Because, when your enemies came after you they were coming after you." He picked up the Sake jug pulling the cork out with his teeth. "Now, that you have disappeared, and no contacts with the outside world except for the people of the Aioya, your enemies in Tokyo have a new target." He slammed down his drink emphasizing his point. "Your friends."

"My friends," parroted Kenshin getting a sinking feeling. "But I'm no longer in Tokyo. Why would they go after Kaoru-dono?" His voice rose as panic set in and his mind raced about the unwittingly leaving his precious Kaoru in danger.

Hiko leaned back against the wall. "Let me tell you a story about some nasty people I got involved with. When they had an adversary, they could not track down or win against they would kill that person's friends and/or families. This way the person who had made the unfortunate mistake of making an enemy out them would live and suffer the lost." He pointed his saucer at the stunned Kenshin. "You have dedicated your life to protecting people, especially those people in Tokyo. Now, what do you think will happen to them? Who's there to protect them?"

Kenshin mouthed gaped open and closed as his saliva dried up as scenes of his friends murdered flashed through his head. I never thought my leaving could cause an effect like that. Have I put them all in danger, because I'm no longer there to protect them? Are they even still alive? I haven't made contact with none of them since I've came to live with Shishou.

Hiko smirked inwardly watching the myriad of emotions flash across Kenshin's face. He knew what he was doing was wrong and the story a little over the top, but his naive student was so gullible sometimes it was embarrassing. "You know Kenshin," said Hiko deciding to end the conflicting tug-of-war going on inside Kenshin. "Maybe you should journey to Tokyo to check on your friends." 

Kenshin blinked at Hiko with wide purple eyes. "Return to Tokyo de gozaru ka?"

Hiko nodded. "You know just to make sure they are all right, and then you can come back to Kyoto with piece of mind."

"Maybe I will," said Kenshin slowly as the thought of returning to Tokyo began to take root in his head. "Just to check on them." He picked up his chopsticks and began to eat what was left of his dinner.

****

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Kaoru looked down at her son's beaming face as they waited outside the dojo for her carriage. "Are you going to be good for Yahiko and Sanosuke," she asked him.

Tamashii nodded gazing up at his mother with wide violet eyes, so much like his sire. Although, Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Megumi tried to say, Tamashii's eyes were a darker shade. However, to her, those were the same eyes, even his hair was red like Him, matter of fact her son was a walking miniature of Him. 

"Okasan," cried Tamashii as he tugged on the sleeve of her kimono. "Okasan."

Kaoru shook her head clearing out old memories and dreams she once held when she was young and naive. "Nani, Tamashii."

"Nothing," he replied as he kicked some dust up, suddenly finding the dirt road interesting.

Kaoru smiled her son was outgoing, but he began extremely shy when he wanted to ask for certain things. "How about I pick you up something from my trip? What would a young boy want...chocolate, sweet bean soup, a toy...hmm?" Kaoru pressed a finger to her lips considering.

"He would like all of them," voiced Tamashii as he looked up at her with a toothy smile. His mom was the greatest person in the world. She never forgot to get him something when she went away on her trips.

"All three, hmm," laughed Kaoru. "But has he been good enough to deserve all three?"

"Yes, he has," chirped Tamashii grinning.

"Oi, Yahiko," called Sanosuke as he elbowed the young teenager in the ribs. "Tama-chan seems to have wheedled another present from Jou-chan."

"He has learned from the master," smirked, Yahiko, elbowing the ex-gangster turned teacher back in the ribs.

Sano smirked and nodded his head. "I love influencing the young. Plus, I am an excellent teacher."

Kaoru rolled her eyes. "So modest." She hid a grin as Sanosuke continued to smile. She turned toward Yahiko, "I want you to go to the market first, and then do the other stuff you are supposed to do, okay."

Yahiko sneered. "Yeah, I know what to do. You don't have to constantly nag me."

"I don't nag," denied Kaoru quickly. "I'm simply reminding you of the chores your have to do while I'm away. If I didn't remind you what to do you'd waste the whole day "working" at the Akabeko with Tsubame-chan." She watched Yahiko blush furiously before she returned her attention to her son. "You stay close to Yahiko and Sanosuke in the marketplace."

"Hai, Okasan," he replied a smile on his innocent young face. He loved it when his mother scolded Yahiko-ojisan.

Kaoru nodded her approval at his answer, before she rounded on Sanosuke. "Do not let him wander off like you did last time Sano." She listened to him grumble and mutter his denials, before she added, "I also, ordered lunch for you three at Tae-san's. Oh, and Megumi's asked me to tell you, you need to pick up the children from school."

"What about the Fox Lady?" demanded Sanosuke. "What's she going to do, while we watch the kids?"

"When she gets back from doing her rounds at the local houses for those who can't come into the clinic, she will be cooking dinner for us tonight." Kaoru glanced down the street trying to see if her carriage was coming. She attempted not to notice the looks of joy that suddenly appeared on her son and friends faces.

Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Tamashii let wide smiles spread across their faces as they thought of the delicious food Megumi would be cooking for them, which was a much appreciated break from Kaoru's cooking.

Kaoru frowned at the men. She honestly thought her cooking was better than before, of course it wasn't on the same level as Tae or Megumi's, but it certainly was not the horrible mess she used to cook when she met them.

"Yahiko," called Kaoru pulling him from his daydream of edible food. "Don't forget all your classes have been canceled for the day. You and Tamashii have to be fitted by the tailor for new clothes." She gracefully walked forward and began to straighten out his hakama. "Mou, you're growing like a weed."

The adolescent swordsman reddened as he moved from underneath her mothering hand. "So, does that mean I can drink Sake now?"

"Iie!" snapped Kaoru as she stepped back from the teenage boy. "You're still too young to drink, but I guess I could bring some back with for tonight's dinner."

Tamashii looked up confusion clouding his violet eyes. "Demo, Yahiko-ojisan always drinks Sake when he's out--"

Yahiko and Sanosuke's hands shot out stopping the little boy from revealing their secrets. Sanosuke let out a fake chuckle. "Heh, Tama-chan is such a comedian."

"Oh," said Kaoru her blue eyes narrowed on the men. She glanced down at her son's covered mouth. She glanced back toward the two men and watched them pale underneath her hard gaze.

Sanosuke and Yahiko gulped and with their hands still covering Tamashii's mouth they began to back up, before she started swinging and yelling.

Kaoru opened her mouth to speak, but shut it when the hired carriage came to a stop in front of her, saving Yahiko and Sanosuke from a definite ear blistering. "I'll be speaking with you both later," she said before climbing up into her carriage. "Be good for mom, Tamashii," she slammed the door to the cab.

****

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"Now, Tamashii," said Sanosuke as they walked down the Tokyo road toward the marketplace. "When we have man time--like now--you can't tell your mother what we do."

"Why?" asked the little boy as he held on tightly to his Uncle Yahiko's hand. 

Yahiko smiled. "Because, your mother is a girl, and she wouldn't understand man things."

Tamashii scrunched up his small face as he regarded both his uncles out of his thoughtful wide eyes. His uncles were often teaching him "man" stuff, when they went out, but they often got in trouble for their "man" stuff with his mother and Aunt Megumi. "I don't know..."

"What's wrong, Tama-chan," said Sano as he saw the confused look and muttered words.

"Well, Sanosuke-ojisan," he began stopping to ponder the importance of secrets and "man" stuff. "I don't like keeping secrets from Okasan."

"But Tama-chan," protested Sanosuke to the little boy. "These are man secrets."

The little boy shook his head sending his red ponytail flying over both his shoulders. "No secrets!"

"But--" Sanosuke started.

"It's no use," said Yahiko laughing. "You might as well give it up, Sano. He's as stubborn as Kaoru when his mind is made up."

"Besides," chirped in Tamashii as he began to walk backwards, "I don't want to be in trouble with Megumi-obasan and Okasan all the time like you two." He snickered as he ran the last few steps left to the Akabeko.

"Why you little," cried Sano and Yahiko, racing after the mischievous four year old.

****

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The pounding of hoof beats caused Kenshin to startle from his own thoughts as he moved out of the way of the oncoming carriage. Tokyo, thought Kenshin, as he looked around the town it had not changed much in the years he had been gone. He was still getting strange stares as he moved further into town. It could not be his sword as he had wrapped it up and was presently carrying it over his shoulder; besides most of these people should still remember him.

He hadn't seen his friends in four years, but he could see them clearly in his mind's eye. He remembered the brash young Yahiko, the rude gangster Sanosuke, the obviously feminine Megumi, and of course the combination of all three: Kamiya Kaoru. Her feminine attitude was a misleading image, which had he guessed served her well, when she lived alone. More than a few people who had underestimated her, which was their ultimate mistake--even he'd been caught a few time underestimating the strength and cunning in Kaoru, maybe that's why he fell instantly in love with her.

Kenshin looked up catching another person staring at him and whispering. Nervously he ran a hand through his flaming red hair making sure not to bring any more attention to his scar. He did not like the looks and the whispers; he knew a couple of the merchants who were talking in hushed tones as they stared at him. Was there something wrong? Did something happen to Kaoru and his friends? Kenshin quickened his steps toward the dojo.

****

************************************************

"Okay," said Yahiko as he tried on another hakama a light lavender color that Sanosuke had picked for him. "What do you think of this color?"

"I don't know," giggled Ayame as she looked toward her sister. "What do you think Suzume-chan?"

"It's kind of bright," she lifted a brow and stepped back hoping to get a better angle. "The color reminds me of flowers. I think you should go with the dark green and black hakama."

Sanosuke snorted. "Obviously you two don't appreciate the color purple. Purple is capable of instilling fear into your opponents. If you wear purple is tells your enemies, you have nothing to fear. Purple for a man shows his prowess."

Ayame and Suzume giggled. "Fine, get it," said Ayame. "I think Tsubame has a matching kimono that color, too."

Yahiko blushed and turned toward the clothier. "I'll take the dark green, black, and gold. Have them delivered to the Kamiya dojo."

The old garment maker smiled and bowed to the young gentleman. "Would there be anything else, sir?"

Yahiko grimaced and stepped back make sure the door was clear of any signs before he placed his next order. "Yes, I would like the lavender kimono with the cherry blossom leaves, please."

The clothier turned around, picked up the kimono, and smiled. "Yes, this is an exceptional kimono. My late wife made this piece. I'll pack this with your things."

Ayame, Suzume, and Sanosuke turned their backs hating what was about to come next. Yahiko sighed. "I also need you to make an extra obi for the kimono. The second belt should have a small spotted white dove on it."

The clothier looked at the young man's angry face as the request sunk in and he finally realized where the boy wanted the clothes delivered. He had heard about Kamiya Kaoru and her soiled dove status. He knew the Moral Matrons declared after she had her baby, that she wasn't allowed in public without a soiled dove upon her clothing marking her true character. He'd also heard many businesses refused to acknowledge her when she came to them; instead she had been forced to go to the next towns over to do her shopping. The tailor smiled. "I'll get right on it. Thank you for your business."

Yahiko let out a relief and smiled. The kimono was a gift to Kaoru from him, today was the anniversary of the day, and she had rescued him from the Shuei Gumi. Of course if he hadn't switched the dice...but he was thankful nonetheless. "Domo arigatou." Yahiko turned to the group. "Come on it's time to go and pick up Megumi and Dr. Gensai."

"Fine," pouted Sanosuke a little put out that Yahiko didn't order the hakama he picked for him. "Let's go...Tama-chan?" He glanced down at his side and noticed the empty spot next to him. He glanced around him, but couldn't locate the little boy. "Tama-chan? Tamashii!!" he called frantically. "Shit!! Kaoru's going to kill me!!" He began shoving people out the way in the crowded marketplace. "Tamashii!!"

Yahiko took off running to the other way searching for Tamashii. "Tamashii," he yelled. "Don't make me tell Kaoru you broke your promise. Tamashii!!!" Tears pricked his black eyes. 

"Let's split u--" Sanosuke was about to suggest when the girls let out a bloodcurdling scream. Turning swiftly Sanosuke and Yahiko saw what was making the girls yell and point. In the middle of the street was Tamashii struggling with a huge frighten white cat, obviously lame as he tried to carry it and him from the path of the carriage careening out of control. 

Yahiko and Sanosuke took off running. They knew as the market people began to shove each other to save themselves from the crush of the carriage wheels and stampeding horse, they would be too late.

Kenshin looked up as people began shouting and pushing trying to avoid the out of control carriage. Kenshin heard a feminine scream looking around he spied a small form struggling in the middle of the street. He knew the boy would never make it out of the way of the carriage. Using his great speed Kenshin moved passed the panicky people gathering the boy and cat up in his arms, to jump quickly out the way, but unfortunately his only safe spot for him to land was among several wooden boxes. Kenshin used his body as a shield and absorbed the full impact of the boxes. 

Sanosuke, Yahiko, Ayame, and Suzume ran toward the crash. All of thinking they had just seen a ghost rescue Tamashii. "It couldn't be," whispered Yahiko as he caught up with Sanosuke's long legged gait.

Pushing their way toward the crowd, they saw Tamashii sitting on the man's chest still clutching the lame cat. "Gomen nasai," cried Tamashii as he spotted his uncles and cousins. He started to sniffle, "I was just trying to help the cat." The cat in question screeched and shot out of the young boy's arms. 

Yahiko bent down and swung Tamashii up in his arms, hugging him tightly while he ran his hands up and down the little boy making sure nothing was hurt or broken from the fall. These damn accidents were taking years off his life.

"Ne," said Suzume who was gazing down at the semi-unconscious man who began to moan. "Isn't this Kenisan?"

Sanosuke moved his eyes over Tamashii's rescuer noting the red hair, and scarred cheek. It was Himura Kenshin, all right. "Oi, Kenshin" called Sanosuke making Yahiko stiffen. 

Kenshin reluctantly opened his eyes to the voice that called him. It sounded like...Sanosuke? Kenshin blinked before as he half focused on an older version of Sanosuke he'd left behind. "The child," he rasped out finally, his head was pounding, and the soothing voice of oblivion was calling to him.

"He's fine," spat Yahiko. "Thanks."

Kenshin shifted his soft violet eyes to see an older Yahiko also, but he was holding what appeared to be a miniature version of himself in his arms. "That's good," he replied before surrendering to the darkness.

=====================================================================

End Chapter 5. Created [11/14/01] and Finished [01/18/01]. Well, Kenshin's back just like y'all have been asking. ^_^ Don't you like the way Hiko "persuaded" him to return to Tokyo? Coming next time: Talks by the River. Please send all: comments, questions, critiques, and flames to me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com. Alternatively, you can leave a note. Shishou M.

Lunatics Ravings:

The dove: In the last chapter the Matrons called Kaoru a soiled dove, and when she was able to rejoin society she was publicly named a soiled dove, to show she was impure. The dove is to be sown onto all outside clothing that Kaoru wears ala the _Scarlet Letter_. In ancient times the dove symbolized peace and purity for different cultures. In addition, in the old west the name "soiled dove" was given to prostitutes. It was actually a name of a famous saloon, too.


	6. Friends or Foes??

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The Journey Home

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Friends or Foes??

Chapter Six

Kenshin opened his eyes to a vaguely familiar ceiling; in the background, he could hear voices speaking in hushed tones. Straining his ears, he thought he heard his name said a few times, and none of the tones were in an affectionate manner. However, that was expected, since he didn't leave on such good terms with his friends, well, except Megumi, but he wasn't sure she would be ready to welcome him back. He shifted his head to toward the door, when he heard a shout only to encounter wide violet eyes regarding him solemnly. 

Visibly startled Kenshin sat up to gaze at his young mirror image fully. He thought it had been a hallucination, when he hit his head on the boxes. He remembered seeing a young version of himself hugging Yahiko around the neck, but he clearly didn't pay it any attention preferring to drift back to his dark abyss. Kenshin roamed his eyes over the little boy noting the red-hair and wide violet eyes. If there were a scar on his left cheek, the little boy would be an exact replica of himself. "Kon'nichiwa," he said finally to his miniature mirror.

Tamashii let out a sweet shy smile. "Kon'nichiwa." 

Melting at the smile on the young boy's face Kenshin felt an immediate affection for the unknown child. He watched the young boy glance back to where the voices rose once more only to lower again. "Are you the boy I helped?" he asked already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear the boy's voice again.

Tamashii glanced back and gave an affirmative nod. Before he whispered: "Gomen nasai."

"Nan de gozaru ka," replied Kenshin slightly confused.

Tamashii pointed to his own head. "You got hurt, trying to help me and the cat."

Kenshin rubbed the back of his head, an insignificant throb remained, but it was nothing he couldn't manage for the moment. He didn't know why it knocked him out, as the Hitokiri Battousai he had sustained much more serious wounds then a simple knock to the head. "Daijoubu de gozaru. Don't worry."

Tamashii grinned impishly at the red-haired man. "You have hard head. Sanosuke-ojisan has a hard head too."

Kenshin laughed. Well, I guess I do have a hard head. "Sanosuke-ojisan?"

"Hai," said the boy cocking his head to the side before he reached forward and patted Kenshin's left cheek. "Hurt?" 

Kenshin reached up and traced his scar smiling at the boy. "No, it's an old scar. I've had it many years."

"You should have Okasan kiss it," he volunteered eagerly. "She makes hurts disappear."

"Oh," questioned Kenshin barely restraining his laughter. "Don't you think I should know her name first before she kisses me?"

Tamashii shrugged. He didn't know what the man was laughing at, his mother kisses always made the hurt feel better for him. "Okasan's name is..." he scrunched up his face trying to remember what his uncles and aunt called his mother. "...Okasan," he finally offered.

Kenshin grinned at the boy. "Maybe if you tell me your name, I might know your Okasan."

"Kamiya Tamashii," he promptly answered.

The smile slowly drifted off Kenshin's face when he heard the quick reply from the young boy. He was on his way of firmly believing their strong resemblance was purely coincidental. There could be many Japanese people who had red hair; of course, he personally never met anyone else with his unusual hair color. But still...Kenshin looked down at the boy trying to confirm what his head was telling him, but his heart was rejecting. She wouldn't? Would she? "Tamashii-chan" he called quietly, "is your mother Kamiya Kaoru, shihondai of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu dojo?"

He nodded. "Okasan is really good. Better than Yahiko-ojisan. She's the best."

Kenshin cleared his throat refusing to answer that declaration. "Who's your Otousan, Tamashii-chan."?

Tamashii violet eyes saddened. "Everybody."

"Everybody de gozaru ka," asked Kenshin confused.

"Okasan says I'm lucky," he repeated. "I have everyone to be my daddy."

Kenshin nodded his head, but clinched his hand into a tight fist. He knew without asking the boy how old he was, Tamashii was without a doubt his son. Kaoru must have discovered she was pregnant after he left. Kami! _I have a son!_ With a fatherly eye Kenshin looked over his son, and swiftly decided Tamashii was the most beautiful child he'd ever seen. But he could hardly find any of Kaoru's features in his son. He gazed into Tamashii's eyes; maybe they are a tad bit darker than mine are. Kenshin felt like grabbing the boy into a fierce hug proclaiming to all his newly discovered paternity. But how would Kaoru feel, whispered the dark melancholic voice living in the back of his mind. She didn't even tell Tamashii who his father is. Kenshin frowned at the thought. "Tamashii-chan," he said turning the boy's attention back to him. "Do you know who I am?"

Tamashii shook his head no. "But you know Okasan. How?" He cocked his head to the side studying his rescuer.

Kenshin gaped at the little boy shocked an unsettling feeling gathered in the pit of his stomach. "I'm an old friend of your mother. My name is Himura Kenshin." He waited for some recognition to come into his son's face upon hearing his name. None came forth. "I saved your mother's life once a long time ago, and she saved mine."

"Like you saved me from the horse," questioned Tamashii.

Kenshin nodded his head slowly. "Kind of the same thing. Has your mother ever mentioned me?" He delved further.

"No," said Tamashii as he began to wonder why the man wanted to know about his mother. His protective instincts took over; he didn't like the sudden interest this man had in his mother. He wasn't going to let anyone make his mother cry anymore. He glared at his rescuer an amber glint flashing in his eyes.

Kenshin rapidly blinked as he saw the quick change from solemn smiling little boy to guard. "Sessha is really a friend of your mother's," he tried to calm the boy who facial expression refused to change at his friendly tone. "Would you like to hear the story of how I met your mother?"

Tamashii kept glaring at him, but shook his head yes.

"Well, it began..." started Kenshin deciding the condensed version would be better.

****

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Kaoru threw up her hands in disgust as she waved away any objections from Yahiko and Sanosuke. "Megumi makes a point," she said finally reigning in her temper. "He did save Tamashii-chan from the rampaging carriage and horse. We'll make sure he gets well, and then shove him off to continue on his journey."

"Fine," said Yahiko. "I'll agree to this plan, but where is he going to stay until he's well enough to find out how big Japan is for the millionth time?"

Megumi let out an exasperated breath. She knew trouble was coming her way when she came out of her bedroom this morning to find a dead rat waiting for her. Then after her exhausting rounds she came back to the clinic to find Yahiko holding a badly shaken Tamashii, and Sanosuke carrying an unconscious Himura Kenshin. "I say he stays at the dojo to rest, since it has more room."

"What," burst out Yahiko. "Why can't he stay his ass at the clinic?"

"Because he won't be hurt all the time, Yahiko," snapped Megumi getting tired of their argument over what to do with Kenshin. "The clinic is for sick or injured people."

"He's injured," snarled Yahiko his young face full of rage he did not like the fact that he was losing ground on this debate as to where they were going to dump the traitorous rurouni. "I say he stays his ass here."

"Well he's not going to," yelled Megumi forgetting to remain composed. "Ken-san isn't seriously injured. The fall shouldn't have knocked him out like it did." She turned to Kaoru and Sanosuke who were both silent. "He is exhausted physically. Ken-san needs a few days rest. It doesn't have to be long, just for a few days, and then you can kick him out of the dojo."

"Fine," said Sanosuke shoving his fist further into his pockets. He wanted to badly pound Kenshin into a fine red powder. If it wasn't for Tamashii's concerned face, he would have walked away from the accident sans remorse. "How about we do this, Kenshin can have my apartment to recuperate and _I'll _stay at the dojo."

"Works for me," replied Yahiko. "As long as I don't have to be around him." He slumped against the wall. Kenshin was once his hero, someone he aspired to be like and then be better than, however, now Kenshin was nothing but rurouni trash to him. He left him. Kenshin walked away from his family. There was no way in hell he was getting an admission ticket back in to it.

Megumi rolled her eyes as she pushed back her raven hair. "It's not really quiet in your neighborhood, Sanosuke. And I don't want my patient attacked while trying to get to his apartment." She interrupted his protest; "I have no doubt Sagara Sanosuke that you will have every person of an antagonist nature attack Kenshin before he reached the apartment." She hushed him again with a dark look. "I told you he's physically tired, his body has been pushing itself, I also had to treat him for a mild case of dehydration. He needs rest."

"I'm not arguing the rest part," said Yahiko. "But does he have to do it at the dojo?"

"Yes," said Kaoru finally adding her voice to the explosive foray. "It's the least we can do Yahiko. He was once our friend and he did save Tamashii from the horse."

"What the hell do you mean: yes," demanded Yahiko jumping up from the ground. "Don't you remember what he did to us? How he left us! I don't want him back in our home."

Kaoru gave a sad smile as she glanced down at her wrist. "I remember Yahiko." The ugly pink scars in an 'X' pattern was forever carved on her wrist. "I don't think I'll ever forget."

Yahiko glanced away from her wrist, of all of them Kaoru was the only one to carry visible scars detailing the anguish she went through when Kenshin decided to bow out from their family. "Fine, do what you want, I'll take Tamashii home and--" he looked around. "Where's Tamashii?"

Megumi and Sanosuke looked around startled they hadn't noticed that the slight boy had disappeared from view during the argument. "I'll go check with Dr. Gensai," said Megumi heading for the door.

"You don't need to," replied Kaoru stopping the young doctor from starting her search. "Tamashii went inside to see about our curious visitor."

"How do you know that?" asked Sanosuke. "I didn't see the curtain move at all."

Kaoru smiled. "You're not a mother."

Sanosuke chuckled. "I should hope not, all the fun is in being the father." He winked at Megumi making her blush a pretty red color as Yahiko rolled his eyes.

****

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Kenshin looked up from his story to see the curtain slide open to reveal his friends. He allowed his eyes to roam over each of them. Yahiko, when he left was just short hothead junior swordsman, now he had the air and confidence about him he was once lacking. Sanosuke looked older, but he seemed to be more restrained than when he first met him. Kenshin shifted his eyes to Megumi, who looked the same to him except she too had an air of more confidence in her abilities then when he first met her, she no longer seemed like she was seeking approval all the time. Saving Kaoru for last Kenshin finally looked in her direction. She was as beautiful as the day he met her. Her face and form he had memorized several times and he noticed the difference in her right away. She walked with more grace leaving behind her childish prance, her ebony hair she'd let grow out, her pony-tail was now mid-waist maybe even longer when let down. Kaoru still had the most prettiest blues eyes he'd ever seen, but looking into them he found they were not the innocent blues eyes he left behind, they too had matured with the rest of her. "Kon'nichiwa," he said breaking the standoff.

"Kon'nichiwa," responded Megumi feeling she should be the first one to speak, not knowing whether the others would start the conversation. "How are you feeling, Kenshin?" She dropped her pet name for him uncomfortable with using it around him after such a period of no contact.

"Just fine, thank you," Kenshin replied politely. "My head--I've been told--is hard." He turned grinning at Tamashii.

Yahiko noticed the smile directed towards Tamashii. He clinched his fist to stop it from shooting out and smashing Kenshin's face in. "I hope Tamashii didn't wake you up." The evil rurouni wasn't about to sweet-talk his way into Tamashii's heart like he did with him, and then decide one day without much provocation to leave. His nephew wasn't going to feel that pain. He wasn't going to allow it. He'd kill the legendary Battousai himself first!

Hearing the barely restrained anger in Yahiko's voice Kenshin shook his head. 

"That's good he usually not so considerate with sleeping people," said Kaoru breaking in and stopping any biting comment Yahiko would undoubtedly say. Her son in question ran to her and grabbed hold of her hand, pulling to be picked up. "Nani?" She adjusted him on her waist.

Tamashii pointed to Kenshin, "Okasan, he knows you," he childishly tried to whisper, but everyone ended up hearing him. "He even said that he saved you like he did me."

Kaoru smiled in spite of the tense disposition in the recovery room. "Yes, he's an _old_ friend of mine." She smirked as saw the visible wince on Kenshin's face when she referred to him as old. She shifted Tamashii's weight to one side speaking to both Kenshin and him. "How would you like it if he came to stay with us at the dojo until he got better?"

Tamashii looked backed at Kenshin considering. "Would I have to share my room? 

Kaoru chuckled. "No, he can have a room of his own."

"Okay, he can come," Tamashii wiggled to get down, he ran over to Kenshin. "You can stay with us," he said candidly acting, as Kenshin didn't even hear the conversation that took place, while he was in his mother's arms.

"So, I heard," said Kenshin as he looked at violet eyes that mirrored his own. "When I first met your mother she offered me a place to stay at the dojo."

Tamashii nodded along, stopping to scrunch up his tiny face in thought. He continued to silently regard the red hair man. "Why did you leave?" His eyes never wavered, although he heard the gasp from his mother, aunt, and uncles. "Why?"

Shaking herself out of her daze, Kaoru strode forward and picked up her son. She did not like the way the question was phrased. It sounded like her son was asking Kenshin why he left his family and not why he left the dojo. "Tamashii," she scolded. "We _do not_ ask people personal questions. It is very rude. Himura-san was once a good friend of mine, but the dojo wasn't his home."

"Oh," said the little boy on a yawn. Not particularly satisfied with his mother's answer, but he was willing to wait until him and Himura-san were alone again before he could ask any more questions. He laid his small head down on his mother's shoulder rubbing at one eye.

Kaoru smiled. "I think it's time for someone to get some sleep." She patted his back again as he let out another yawn.

"Here Kaoru," said Yahiko moving away from the door. "I'll go take Tama-chan home and you can finish your arrangements with Kenshin." He held out his arms, but the little boy shook his head, wrapping his arms tighter around his mother's neck. Yahiko tried to beckon the boy to him, but Tamashii refused to move. He watched as the violet eyes drooped and his excuse from escaping Kenshin's presence fell asleep.

"It's okay, Yahiko," said Kaoru as her body began to sway in calming motion. She turned her attention to the redhead rurouni settled in the bed. His attention intensely focused on her son. "Kenshin," she said quietly. "If you would like to stay anywhere else until you are able to continue on your wanderings, I'll be happy to arrange you the transportation. If not, like I said earlier, you are more than welcome to stay at the dojo again."

Stay somewhere else and be separated from his son again. No, he wasn't going to voluntarily leave his son, not after discovering him. He was absolutely sure Tamashii was his son other than the extreme resemblance; he knew Kaoru wouldn't betray their memory to some tawdry affair. "Arigatou de gozaimas, Kaoru-dono, I appreciate your kindness."

"It is I who is grateful, Kenshin," responded Kaoru her throat thickened with tears hearing him call her 'dono' after so many years of not hearing it attached to her name. She couldn't believe that most of her strength and resolve was melting just from the affect of hearing him say her name. "If you had not rescued my son from the rampaging horse and carriage, he could have been seriously hurt or worse."

"Well, it's getting late," interjected Megumi not allowing Kenshin a chance to reply. She wasn't stupid she recognized the look that came into Kenshin's eyes as he gazed at Kaoru rocking Tamashii-chan to sleep. Kenshin wasn't a fool; he knew Tamashii was his son. "I'll keep you here for now, Ken-san and then tomorrow we can transfer your belongings over to the dojo." She nodded at him, before looking at Kaoru. "Kaoru-san, it's late and I think my nephew needs to be lying down. I'll bring Ken-san over tomorrow afternoon. Okay."

Kaoru inclined her head and turned back to Kenshin. "Good night." She turned back around without waiting for an answer from him. "Come on Yahiko, it's getting late. I don't want Tamashii out in this cold air for long."

Yahiko moved from off the back wall ignoring Kenshin as he followed Kaoru and Tamashii out the door. He had plans to make tonight and he wasn't about to let Tamashii or Kenshin get too attached to each other. He would rather die first before he welcomed Kenshin back into his family.

Sanosuke gazed at the determined gleam that shone brightly in Yahiko's eyes. He knew what the boy was thinking and he was right with him. He never wanted to see the broken Jou-chan he came across when Kenshin left her, and he would do every thing in his power to make sure that Jou-chan nor Tamashii suffered the ill effects of having Kenshin among their group once more. If he had to, he would make a contract with a devil, before he would let anyone harm his friends. "Fox," called Sanosuke as he watched her check Kenshin's bruises. "I'm going home, too. I'll see you tomorrow." He looked at Kenshin. "Good night." Sano walked away not even waiting for a reply from Megumi or Kenshin.

Megumi looked up into Kenshin's violet eyes. "Don't worry, Ken-san," she said rubbing more cream on one of his bigger bruises. "Everything will be fine." She closed the lid on the small tin and stood. "It's nothing that cannot be healed."

Kenshin nodded his head her words, smiled, and whispered goodnight to her. It was obvious Yahiko and Sanosuke still blamed him for leaving, it was also apparent they rather eat hot coals before letting him come back to the dojo. Kaoru, however, didn't seem to hold any animosity toward him, except of course not to contact him about his son. Then there was Megumi, he could tell that she was somewhat angry with him, but then again what had her words meant. _"It's nothing that cannot be healed."_ He leaned back thinking about her words. Was she referring to his bruises or to his relationship with his friends? Kenshin rolled over and shut his eyes hoping to figure out the meaning in his sleep.

****

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Kenshin lifted up a hand toward the opening of the carriage to help Megumi down the steps. The carriage ride was a nice relief from the constant walking he'd been doing, since he'd left Kyoto. He smiled ruefully as he remembered Kaoru's barb from yesterday about how he was an old friend. Indeed, he was old and he'd been feeling his ancient thirty-three years more often than not. He reached down and picked up his few belongings from beside him.

He sighed as he looked up at the dojo. It had been four years since he seen the place he thought to call home forever. It had changed. From his critical eye, he could tell a new roof had been placed on and the walls had been whitewashed. The place was still inviting and warm. Kenshin shuffled his feet, if only he could say the same thing about the people who dwelled within the newly painted walls.

Megumi watched Kenshin gaze at the dojo, even she had to admit it looked better now, than it did when she had been first offered a place to stay. The new roof and paint did wonders for the modest size dojo. "Come Ken-san," she said snapping him out of his own musings. "The others are waiting for us." She walked around to the door using her spare key to let them both inside the courtyard.

Inside the courtyard was the sound of giggling laughter drifted from the back. Kenshin grinned widely; he knew that laughter anywhere it was the sweet sound of Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan and from what he would guess Tamashii-chan. He hastened his gait at the thought of seeing his son again. It had been only yesterday since he had first laid eyes on his son, but he had instantly loved him. His son was a precious gift he thought he would never be able to have, especially with his nomadic lifestyle and with the constant people who came after him wanting to defeat the Legendary Hitokiri Battousai. However, Kaoru had now gifted him with one of his dreams.

****

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"Now, you throw the ball," instructed Tamashii to Yahiko who had been roped into playing with the children much to his chagrin. "Don't forget to call out a number."

"All right," he muttered as he lobed the wooden ball toward Ayame as he shouted four. He watched as the girl did four quick turns before she caught the ball expertly in her arms. He half-heard and saw her say something to Suzume. "How do I did I let myself get conned into playing this game?" Yahiko continued to grumble forgetting to pay attention to the game in progress, until he heard Tamashii's warning shout. Turning swiftly, he only felt the impact never seeing the ball that accosted him. "Crap."

"Are you okay?" asked Ayame and Suzume-chan as they ran toward Yahiko who was sitting up in the dirt rubbing his red cheek. 

Tamashii stomped past his uncle to pick up the yellow and pink ball they were playing with, "Uncle Yahiko, you're supposed to watch the game," instructed the young boy indignant that his uncle had cost them another point in the game. "How are we going to win now?"

"Ma, ma," cried Yahiko as he gazed up at the angry redhead boy. "I'm the one who's injured. Besides isn't it your nap time." He turned to the girls. "And don't you two have to practice your kanji for tomorrow's test?"

All three children pouted as Yahiko began to change into the responsible grown-up that Kaoru and Megumi had been training him to become for the future. "Yes," they groaned in unison.

Megumi and Kenshin stood in the courtyard watching the scene unfold before them. Gradually smiles spread across both their faces as they heard Yahiko present the children with his hidden adult self. 

Megumi let out a laugh startling the foursome. "Poor, Yahiko-kun, have you been overrun with children?"

Tamashii let out a squeal, throwing down the ball. He scampered across the yard on his short legs. "Megumi-obasan," he shouted wrapping his arms around her legs. He looked up at her giving her a toothy smile. "Have you come to see me?"

"Sadly this time Tama-chan, no," she replied picking up the young boy in her arms. Megumi kissed his cheek. "I came to pick-up the girls we have some things to do this afternoon." She pointed in Kenshin's direction. "I brought someone with me. Do you remember who he is?"

"Hai," said Tamashii as he glanced in Kenshin's direction. "That is Okasan's old friend, Himura Kenshin-san. He's come to stay at the dojo." 

Kenshin bowed to the small boy aching to hold him in his own arms. 

"Yes, he has," chuckled Megumi at his frankness. 

Tamashii put his hands on her cheeks moving her head to back to him. "Could you please stay with me? If you stay with me, Okasan won't make me take a nap." He swiveled his head glaring at Yahiko. "We can play ball, I bet you're way better than Yahiko-ojisan."

"Hey!" said Yahiko. "I only missed two balls."

"Which is disgraceful in his eyes," said a new softer voice from the porch. "You know he takes his ball playing seriously Yahiko."

Yahiko stood up still holding a hand to his cheek. "Yeah, it's from spending too much time with that rooster-head gambler."

Kaoru inclined her head. "Perhaps. Good afternoon, Megumi, Kenshin. Are you feeling better Kenshin?" She gracefully glided forward reaching her arms out for her son. 

"Hai de gozaru." Kenshin's mouth dried up as Kaoru appeared as a mini female deity. Her unbound hair cascaded down her back in a dark rich waterfall well past her waist. The pink kimono she wore was tightly molded to her petite body. Her skin a nice healthy glow. Kaoru was currently laughing at something Megumi or Yahiko had said. He wasn't sure. His mind would only focus on her musical laugh, how he missed her laugh. A siren's laugh. Engaging. Enticing. Kenshin nearly moaned aloud with frustration when Kaoru flashed her smile at Yahiko. She was the epitome of a sunny goddess.

Kaoru turned with Tamashii in her arms vividly aware of Kenshin's rapt observation of her, since she entered the courtyard. She had purposely worn her hair down knowing the length and healthy shine always drew men and women's attention. After she gave birth to her son, her hair had thickened and grew tremendously, while her skin had taken on a healthier glow. "Kenshin," she called pulling him from his own perusal. "If you want, you can follow me, while I put Tamashii down for his nap, then I can take you to the room you'll be using for your stay."

Kenshin opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted with a loud wail from Tamashii, who was currently arching his back trying to make his mother let go of him, but Kaoru was gripping his small body tightly.

"I don't want a nap," wailed Tamashii as he wiggled his slight frame, his large purple eyes filling up with tears. "I'm not sleepy. I don't want a nap!"

"That's too bad Kamiya Tamashii," Kaoru replied sternly. "I happen to be your mother and I say you need a nap, besides you always take a nap at this hour." She frowned at her son's loud sobs. "Stop fighting me Tamashii just because we have company that doesn't mean your schedule will be interrupted."

Tamashii sniffed and pouted before he gave in and laid his redhead against his mother's shoulder. "You promise not to do anything fun, while I'm sleep."

Kaoru thought of all the chores she had yet to finish there was no possible way she would be having fun while her son slept. "I promise."

"Well, we better be going," said Megumi as the girls returned from the house with their belongings. "Yahiko come with me to the clinic, I got some cream you can put on your cheek."

Yahiko nodded as he followed behind the girls headed for the main gate, Kaoru stopped him for a moment asking him to return immediately as she needed him to watch Tamashii for her. "Hai," he tossed over his shoulder it would give him the added benefit of speaking with Kenshin without an eavesdropping audience.

Kenshin watched the group leave. Even the children seemed to hate him. He didn't miss the look they had given him as they walked toward the gate. He hung his head and sighed. His knew that Megumi, Sanosuke, or Yahiko did not forgive his departure, but he didn't know the children could hold a grudge, too. Does everybody hate me?

"Kenshin," called Kaoru glancing back to see him standing in the yard. "Are you coming?" She moved Tamashii to her other shoulder as his body became sleep heavy.

Kenshin quickly picked up his small satchel that held his few belongings and followed Kaoru. "Kaoru-dono," he whispered as he saw the sleeping face of his son. "Maybe you should take him to his room and lay him down. I remember the room I use to stay in."

"That's all right, Kenshin," she said moving away from him. "You have a new room. We don't use the room you had anymore." Kaoru moved gracefully up the steps rounding one corner passing Kenshin's old room, which had a thick board, nailed across it. She stopped in front another door; using one hand, she slid back the shoji and motioned Kenshin to step inside the room. "I hope you like it. You're next to Yahiko's room."

Kenshin wondered around the room, looking at the small dresser with mirror in one corner a futon and blankets were folded. It greatly resembled his old room, except it contained none of the familiar warmth of his original room. He had no memories attached to this bedroom, it was his room, but it wasn't. Kenshin sighed and wondered why his other room was no longer in use. 

Kaoru patted the small back of her son as he softly snored in her left ear. "Is there something wrong with the room, Kenshin?"

The red-hair rurouni turned to her and offered up a rueful smile. "Thank you for the room. I guess..." he let out another sigh. "...I'm just tired. Maybe I should take a nap, too."

"Okay," said Kaoru flashing an enigmatic smirk toward him. "I'll leave you to your room." She turned to walk away but stopped inches from the door. "If you're still sleep when I come back I'll wake you up for dinner."

"Arigatou de gozaru," replied Kenshin nodding his head at her.

"Something's bothering you," Kaoru asked as he continued to stare at her.

Kenshin paused as he looked into Kaoru's glowing blue eyes. He desperately wanted to ask her why she hadn't informed him that he was a father. Why didn't she tell their son he had a father? Why doesn't their son even know about him? Did he hurt her so much that his shining girl was gone forever? From all her actions so far, she didn't seem to hold a fierce grudge against him. Kenshin wanted to take both Kaoru and Tamashii into his arms, reassure them he was never going away. Only he couldn't, he had to know about Kaoru's feelings. He glanced down at her obi and noticed she had a small dirty dove on it, he remembered the same dove from yesterday when she came to the clinic. "When did you start wearing a dove on your kimonos, Kaoru-dono? And why is it spotted?"

Kaoru's blue eyes were shining with a light sheen of tears. She self-consciously moved one hand over the small dove knowing exactly where it was situated on her obi. Four years. She'd had the small bird for four years and she had yet become accustomed to its presence on her clothing. Kaoru let a rueful smile touch her lips for the barest moment. "Just something I picked up when you left. A little reminder for me." She closed the door before he could say anything more to her.

Kenshin turned away from the closed rice-paper door he put his small bundle of clothing on the floor and began to make up the room. He had a son who was his carbon copy. He had a wife...a wife? When had he begun to think of Kaoru as his wife? For quite some time he could only imagine Tomoe in that esteemed position. His heart swelled. He had always imagined himself alone, but now he had Kaoru and Tamashii and he wasn't going to lose either of them. He just had to plan. Kenshin laid the futon flat, spreading his blanket over the thin mattress, stripping down he slid between the sheets shutting his weary eyes. He had a family, a son who didn't know his father, and a wife who didn't know she was married. Kenshin smiled. It was good to be home.

****

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Kenshin awoke instantly feeling an unfamiliar ki standing over his sleeping form. Rolling quickly he grabbed for his sakabatou in one fluid motion he had the sword unsheathed and ready to battle whomever who had come into his room. Glancing down Kenshin realized that he had his sword pointed at the head of his son.

Tamashii gulped. "Gomen nasai." His eyes began to fill up with tears as his bottom lip quivered; he wiped at the two fat tears that had escaped to roll down his cheeks.

The redhead rurouni let out an embarrassed chuckle as he sheathed his sword. "No, I should be sorry, Tama-chan. I will never do it again."

Tamashii nodded his head. His eyes drifted to the sword. "Yahiko-ojisan and Okasan are not here and I'm thirsty." He finally glanced back up to Kenshin his violet eyes a little wary. "Could you please help me get some water from the well?"

"Aa." Kenshin nodded his head he glanced down to the gray yukata he was wearing. "But, first let me get properly attired."

Tamashii nodded and left Kenshin to his room to get dressed.

****

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Yahiko carried the medium sized package in his arms. He opted to get a late picnic lunch for him and Tamashii. He had only meant to get enough for him and Tamashii, but Tae had heard the rumors about a red-hair man who had came to visit the Kamiya Dojo residence that greatly resembled the little boy. Tae was not stupid. She knew exactly who had come back after his four year absence, and the made the lunch out for at least four hearty people.

He pushed opened the gate to hear a shrill of laughter coming from the back of the dojo. Tamashii was awake. Yahiko hurried his steps to back toward the housing units. Whom could Tamashii be laughing with? He hoped it was Kenshin because lately Tamashii's imaginary friends have been getting him into serious trouble. The last time was when Tamashii's "friend" helped him climb a ladder left from a painting job. Tamashii nearly fell when he decided to walk around the perimeter. His nephew could have died or seriously hurt if he survived the fall.

Yahiko skidded to a stop when he saw Tamashii was indeed playing with Kenshin.

Kenshin was too busy to notice they were now being observed. Tamashii was screaming with laughter as Kenshin proceeded to tickle the little boy who had first started their tickle war. "Do you give up?"

"No," giggled Tamashii as he tried to stop Kenshin's seeking fingers away from his more sensitive areas. "You give up," he tried desperately to get his small fingers into the ticklish crevices on Kenshin's body, while defending his own.

"I don't think so, Tamashii," replied Kenshin a blossoming smile spread across his lips. His heart warmed as he listened to the innocent sound of his son's joyful laughter. After years of listening to screams echoing between his ears, a child's laughter was a much-needed respite. Moreover, the child being his son was more than enough atonement for him.

Yahiko watched the seen with at first shock but it was reduced to anger. How dare Kenshin put his hands on Tamashii. How dare Kenshin giggle and laugh with his son after the grief he put his family through, because he had a sudden urge to continue his wanderlust. Did he think he could just come back and be a part of Tamashii's life as if the last four years were not but a simple lapse in judgment? How dare Kenshin try to play away his wrong? "Tamashii," called the junior samurai.

Tamashii hands stopped as he heard his name. He moved his body right side up, to view his Uncle Yahiko. His uncle was frowning. "Ojisan?"

"It's time for lunch, we're going on a picnic," Yahiko told the boy in a harsher voice than he meant to use. It just made him so angry to think of how easily attached to Kenshin, Tamashii could become. He smiled a little, "I got you an extra dessert so hurry up."

Tamashii glanced up with a silly grin on his face and took off running toward Yahiko. "Are we going to eat by the river?"

Yahiko clasped the boy's hand tightly. "Yes, so stay away from the shoreline." He turned his head back toward Kenshin. "Come with us Kenshin," he said brusquely not waiting to see if the rurouni would follow them, Yahiko headed for the gate.

"Aa," whispered Kenshin as moved back to the porch to pick up his sakabatou. Sliding it beside his side, he watched the disappearing back of Yahiko as a heaviness descended on his heart. His day of reckoning was close. Where did the Yahiko he once knew disappear?

****

**********************************************

Sanosuke threw a handful of rocks into the calm lake surface. He watched as the ripples spread across the surface from small to large. He had broken off his date with Megumi citing he had personal man things to take care of today. She had smiled enigmatically as if she knew his real reason for canceling on her. He needed to speak with Himura Kenshin. 

Sanosuke sighed as he bent down picking up more rocks to send scattering over the lake's surface. "Che," he muttered as he watched one of his stones smack a bird on back to send it fluttering to the sky. "I wish this was just as easy. How am I to going to get rid of Kenshin?" Sano shuffled his feet turning from the lake. "Why did he have to come back? Why couldn't he have stayed in wherever the hell he was?" He glanced up at the sky. "We didn't want him back! You hear me up there! We didn't want him back! We are doing just fine without him." 

They were doing just fine without Kenshin. Sanosuke's business had taken off better than he expected allowing him to share some of the good business with the Kamiya Dojo. He found he actually enjoyed teaching students how to fight without a weapon in this new sword-less Meji era and those who wanted to learn the more traditional side of fighting with a sword were quickly ushered toward the Kamiya Dojo. For the first time in his life, he could say he wasn't bringing shame to the Sagara name. He was earning his money legitimately and paying back loans, while still maintaining his easygoing attitude. Life was good.

But now, Kenshin was back. 

He sat down on the ground, plucking a long blade of grass he began to chew on the light green side. Deep down he knew he couldn't fault Kenshin for leaving. Kenshin was the sort of man whom would rather know all pain than to let his friends feel any. So, being Kenshin, he left his small impromptu family. But he forgot to take the pain with him. Sanosuke lay down among the sea of grass. Jou-chan's slashed wrist and blood soaked kimono flashed in his mind. He remembered the tears and blood-streaked face of Yahiko. He couldn't let that happen again. This time he had another person who was counting on him to keep them safe. He had Tamashii. When he held the tiny boy in his arms for the first time he made a promise. He promised that he would use everything within his power to keep the boy safe. And to keep Tamashii safe, he had to get rid of his father, Himura Kenshin.

Sanosuke sat up as he heard a child's chatter drift over him. He'd recognize that boyish giggle anywhere. Tamashii. He stood up quickly as he watched the objects of this thoughts finish crossing the bridge to the lake. "Oi, Tama-chan," he yelled smiling.

"Sano-ojisan," cried Tamashii as he ran to hug his uncle. "Are you here for the picnic? Where's Megumi-obasan?"

Sano bent down to ruffle the little boy's red hair. "She's has work and as for the picnic, since I'm here I might as well join."

Yahiko snorted as he heard the last part of the conversation. "How are you going to join this picnic without any food? I don't remember inviting you to this picnic?"

"Brat," smiled Sanosuke as he watched Kenshin come to a stop behind Yahiko. "I was invited to this picnic by the Gods. They knew I was getting hungry, so they told me to rest in this place when a laden down ingrate friend would come with nourishment for all."

"Are these the same the same gods who you cursed when you lost fifty yen in dice last week," scoffed Yahiko as he bent to spread out the blanket Tae had packed with the food.

"No," grumbled Sanosuke. "I stopped listening to those gods and found new ones." He plopped down on the purple blanket and picked up a rice-ball wrapped in seaweed. "I'll be testing them out Tuesday after classes."

Yahiko nodded. "Fine, we'll see how good your gods are at The Den." He placed a small plate of food in front of Tamashii who was more interested in the flock of birds a few feet from them. "Eat, Tama-chan, then you can go play."

Tamashii bobbed his head in agreement and tackled his fish and rice-ball. He gulped down his lime-chamomile drink before Sanosuke or Yahiko could stop him. His little hand shot out stealing several pieces of the sliced bread before jumping up with a rushed thank you he ran over to the birds to play.

Sanosuke looked down at his full plate and the empty one of Tamashii's, his own chopsticks were poised at his mouth. He shot Yahiko a bland look. "That was new."

"Aa," agreed Yahiko as he picked up his own lime-chamomile beverage.

The three men ate in relative silence all of them preferring to watch Tamashii play scatter-the-birds than to partake in any conversation with the others. Out of the threesome Kenshin dreaded an end to the silence the most, he knew Yahiko hadn't summoned him to this picnic for reminiscing on old times nor did he think it was shear luck they had ran into Sanosuke by the lake. Finally, after an hour, Sanosuke decided to break the silence.

"I'm glad you came Kenshin," he began moving the group out of their quiet musings. "I was headed to the dojo to speak with you. And it is even better that I have this talk with you by the lake than at the dojo where little ears aren't party to what we discuss."

Yahiko raised a brow at Sanosuke's words. Seeing the slight nod his friend's head he knew Sanosuke wanted to talk with Kenshin about the same thing. He let Sanosuke continue.

"First off I want to reiterate our gratitude for saving Tamashii the other day." Sanosuke stopped and glanced back at Tamashii to make sure the boy was still focused on feeding and playing with the birds. His eyes drifted to Yahiko what he was about to say next he knew the young boy wouldn't like. "As you can see you are Tamashii's father--"

"He is not!" shouted Yahiko. "He is _nothing_ to Tamashii!" He shot Sanosuke a killing look. "My nephew's name _is_ Kamiya Tamashii, _not_ Himura Tamashii."

"Tamashii is too my son," replied Kenshin gazing into Yahiko's angry black eyes. "Aside from the fact that I know Kaoru wouldn't betray our feelings. Tamashii is a carbon copy of me. The fact that we don't share the same surname does not make him any less my son."

Yahiko let out a snarl. "You are nothing to Tamashii. Nothing! If Kaoru hadn't been so stubborn, his name would have been Sagara Tamashii. How do you like that?"

Kenshin sighed. "I like it even less than Kamiya Tamashii. But, I would have understood Sagara more. You cannot deny he looks like me, Yahiko. Tamashii is my son."

"Fuck you," came Yahiko's terse reply. "I can deny any damn thing I want to deny. And right now, I deny you are the father to my nephew."

"Yahiko," said Sanosuke. "We need to be honest here, okay. I don't like it anymore than you do, but Kenshin is the father of Tamashii." He held up a hand stopping any retort. "We have something more important to discuss and Tamashii's father isn't the objective."

Yahiko snorted. "You've been hanging around Megumi too much. I will and forever deny Kenshin is the father to Tamashii. He is nothing to him. If he was the father, where was he during Tamashii's birth? Where was he during Tamashii's first word, crawl, walk, and run? Where was Tamashii's father? Where was Tamashii's father, for his fourth birthday a couple of weeks ago? Where? I'll tell you where. Nowhere. That's where Tamashii's father was during all those events."

Kenshin grimaced. "I understand what you are feeling. I intend to be part of my son's life now, Yahiko."

Sanosuke cringed as Kenshin said the worst thing he could. "Shit." This conversation was not going the way he wanted. He hadn't meant to lose control this quickly.

Yahiko let out a hysterical laugh. "You understand. You understand what I'm feeling! That's just great." He jumped up from the blanket and began to walk around in agitated circles. "I'm so glad _you_ understand. My life is so much more enriched now that I know you understand what I'm feeling." He plopped back down on the blanket. "So, you understand how I felt when Kaoru died and when Tamashii was born. You understand don't you?"

Kenshin gritted his teeth against saying what he really wanted to say. He listened to Yahiko's condescending tirade his jaw fell open as the teenage boy mentioned the death of Kaoru. "What?" His face showing his confusion. "What death?"

"Yahiko," snapped Sanosuke appalled that young boy would bring up such a delicate topic, one that Kaoru's closest friends refused to talk about amongst themselves or others. And if it was mentioned it was only referred to as her sickness and nothing else. "Shut the hell up."

"Why should I?" asked the boy as he fought back tears. Damn, Kenshin thinking he could actually comprehend the heartache and the worry he had to go through. Yahiko wiped at his eyes furiously taking a deep breath he nodded to Sanosuke to regain control of the conversation.

"Fine," said Sanosuke he diverted his attention back toward a dumbfounded Kenshin. "Look, all I have to say is simple--"

"Wait," said Kenshin turning his purple gaze bay to the young man on his left. "What do you mean when Kaoru-dono died?"

Yahiko caught Sanosuke's sharp and decided not to heed the warning he was receiving. "The Kaoru you left is not the same Kaoru who is here now. The Kaoru that you knew has died." Yahiko kept going despite the warning growl emanating from the ex-gangster. "Kaoru died when you left. This new Kaoru has some reminiscent of her old self, but the one you saw yesterday and today is totally different." Yahiko shook his head. "My Kaoru died. And you killed her."

Kenshin stared into Yahiko's black eyes as he felt the wait of the young teen's words hit him. _And you killed her_. "Sessha...killed Kaoru-dono?" He looked into Sanosuke's eyes. "I don't understand. How?"

"Oh, but earlier you understood everything," came the sarcastic retort from Yahiko.

Sanosuke shook his head picking out another blade of grass he glanced up and noticed the sun had moved behind him. It was getting late. "Look, Kenshin there are more details than we can tell you." He glared at Yahiko who just let out an annoyed breath. "The rest is Jou-chan's story, okay."

Kenshin nodded.

"Good," said Sano. "What I've been trying to tell you is this: we don't want you around Kenshin. We want you to leave."

Kenshin shook his head. "Sumano. I cannot leave." He looked over seeing Tamashii walking back toward them. He stood up with the rest of the group as Yahiko quickly gathered the paraphernalia from their picnic. His gazed rested fondly on the little boy who was rubbing on eye obviously tired. His heart tugged. That was his son. "I have a son, I'm not going to abandon him."

"Che," muttered Sanosuke he knew this was going to hard. "Kenshin out of respect for our past friendship I'm asking you to leave. Forget about Tokyo. Don't make me have to arrange for your sudden departure."

Kenshin turned and lifted a brow at Sano's threat. "Nan de gozaru ka?"

"I've learned that pacifism gets you only so far," replied Sanosuke not taking his gaze off his nephew. His hands were fists in the pockets of his white pants as he rocked back on the balls of his heels. "So, I'm more than prepared to use any method within my grasp to make sure my family isn't harmed by you again." He swung down swooping Tamashii into his arms. He looked toward Kenshin. "I'll give you a week at the most. Make your decision." He walked away with Yahiko following.

Kenshin stared at the backs of his friends and frowned. Something, obviously other than the birth of his son happened to Kaoru when he left on his journey. Something profound enough to make Yahiko say that Kaoru had died. _And you killed her._ He began to follow the others back to the dojo. He slowed his pace as he tried to shift through all the information and feelings he'd been exposed to since returning. Sanosuke and Yahiko both wanted him to leave, and the feeling he was getting from Megumi was undecided. _It's nothing that cannot be healed_. She said that to him at the clinic. She showed anger but it also seemed like she was glad he returned. What about Kaoru? Whispered the voice in his head. Where did her beliefs and wants fit into the mess he'd unconsciously made of his life. He was receiving mixed signals from her too, she was being nice to him, but he knew that at the clinic she wasn't overjoyed at seeing him. His steps slowed as he thoughts tried to reconcile themselves that his own friends were now his enemies. Could he fight his friends? An image of a laughing Tamashii popped into his mind. Yes, he could. 

Kenshin glanced up startled that they had arrived at the dojo so quickly. He watched as Yahiko shot him one last withering look before he pushed open the main gate letting them inside.

"Tadaima," called Yahiko as he set the basket down by his feet. His heart began to beat faster as he waited for Kaoru to answer him back. It had been three years since he discovered her blood soaked body, but the fear was still with him that one day he would enter the dojo and he would be too late to do anything. "Oi, Kaoru. Tadaima!" he yelled louder.

Kenshin heard the hitch in Yahiko's voice. He watched as Sanosuke put a reassuring hand on Yahiko's shoulder. He glanced at them confused, but knowing his questions wouldn't be appreciated at this time.

Kaoru came around the corner her gait hurried. "Okaeri," she answered as she greeted Yahiko and Sanosuke who both let out the breath they were holding. "Gomen, I fell asleep and didn't hear you the first time." 

"Oi, Jou-chan," said Sanosuke as he shifted the weight on his should. "Take your dead weight. You don't need to feed him we sort of had a late lunch and he tired himself out running after the pigeons." He shifted the boy into her arms.

Tamashii woke up only to see whose new hands he was being shifted into, seeing his mother's face he promptly went back to sleep. Kaoru snuggled her son to her as she smiled at Kenshin. "Okaeri, Kenshin. Did you enjoy your nap?"

"Aa," whispered Kenshin unsure after his chats with Sano and Yahiko how to respond to her smiles. "It's the best I've slept in days."

A loud knock, sounded at the dojo's door behind them breaking the small silence. Yahiko opened the gate, wondering who would be calling at the dojo so late in the evening. "Kaede," gasped out the young samurai staring at the prune faced Moral Matron. "What the hell do you want?" he quickly snapped out recovering from his shock.

"Foul mouthed boy," said Kaede as she pushed Yahiko aside to march into the dojo courtyard. She quickly scanned the people gathered at the entrance, her eyes dropping on the person she came to speak. "Kaoru-chan we need to talk."

=====================================================================

End Chapter 6. Created [01/19/02] and Finished [03/05/02]. Did you honestly think the Moral Matrons were gone?! And why is Kaoru being so nice to Kenshin?? Coming next time: Accidents?! Send all questions, critiques, comments, and flames to me at: pmchivas@hotmail.com or you could leave me note. Standard disclaimers apply. Shishou M. 

Your Moment Of Zen:

Did you know that if you're stuck in a slump writing, sometimes it helps to write on a different background and in a different color. That's what I did with this chapter, I wrote the entire thing in green on a lime background. It was really fun feeling Irish. ^_~

Also, for some odd reason people have been asking me my age. I don't know why, some of you have become fascinated with my age, but if you truly want to know, and can't go another day without knowing...I'm 23.

And to answer another question about this fic. I have 2 or 3 more chapters planned for the ending of this fic, I haven't decided yet.


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